76 My first experience journeying just like Juan Castaneda, the Shaman

    After we lost a daughter, who decided to escape from all the turmoil in our family to live her own life, and then we lost a son to a heroin overdose a year later, I floated around in the land of limbo for a while. Then slowly feelings came back. Judging oneself and others take a horrible toll on the body and the mind. The pain, the disgust, the guilt, the anger… All spun around in my head from the moment I dragged myself out of bed until I hid in the dark of my bedroom, attempting to hide from the pain.

   I realized I had to forgive myself and my husband. Therefore, it was essential to be aggressive about healing or I would end up in a psych ward or a divorce. Paying three hundred dollars an hour to tell someone my problems and then listen to the suggestions or insights that mirrored my close friends, frustrated me. I wasn’t moving forward: I was trapped in a pit of tar unable to escape.  But thank God. Finally, I found trauma counselors that used techniques that worked for me. And I delved even deeper into learning natural healing techniques.

   One day after having an acupuncture treatment, I walked around the corner of  Pine Tree Circle,  a building with a few retail shops and offices in Topanga, because in front of Desi Yoga, I knew I would find various New Age magazines. I picked up a couple, and a few days later I leafed through them and found a Psychic Intuitive class I was interested in, and an event called the Conscious Life Expo which has an abundance of spiritual and New Age lectures, workshops, and exhibits. I prepaid for an Introduction to Shaman Workshop which would be held in one of the many conference rooms at the LAX Marriott Hotel. Shamanism has always fascinated me, maybe because I have a tiny bit of Cherokee Indian in me. It just seems natural to heal with the elements and animals to alleviate traumas affecting the spirit and body.

   Hank Wesselman is an anthropologist and Hawaiian Shaman. He was a tall man with a medium frame. His neatly trimmed Comic Con beard was almost entirely grey, as was his slightly curly and he had a receding hairline. If I had passed him on the street, I would have never guessed him a Shaman. He lit the incense and explained that it would expedite clearing the room of negative energy and that lighting a candle would help raise the vibrations. All of this would help us travel to the spirit world easier. He asked, “How many of you have journeyed? Maybe about five people out of the eighteen had raised their hand. “To journey,” he shared, “is surprisingly easy, but first, you need to set a goal before you enter into the spirit world."
   He informed us that it's also necessary to play a rhythm instrument at a steady beat before journeying and have someone else play shaman music while you are journeying or play shamanic drumming in the background on your phone or laptop. This steady beat changes the brain waves so that you can travel in this mystical world. He lit a white candle sitting on the table at the front of the room. I felt like a child ready to step into my first roller coaster ride. Hank’s low, soothing voice was effortless to listen to, and the information was intriguing.

    For protection, he shared that we needed to ask our animal guides or angels to accompany us on our journey as they would help protect us and aid us with the healing. If we didn’t have one, we were to ask for our animal guide or angel to show itself and welcome him or her. At the end of the healing, we weren’t to forget to thank the guides for protecting us or any of the elements: wood, air, water, fire, and earth that came into the journey to heal. 

   Hank suggested that we become comfortable, so I stretched out on the carpet with my light jacket covering my upper torso because as usual, the conference rooms are always too cold for me. The drumming began. In the background, I continued to hear Hank’s voice reminding us that as we travel to this magical place to be aware of what arises because many times the elements or various animals might appear to work on the person or the situation. We must remember what transpired since these journeys are symbolic, later we must analyze what they represent. In a lulling voice, Hank guided us to listen to the drum, and as the droning beats became louder, the magical cadence delved me deeper and deeper into a trance, I realized I had entered into the magic world of the Shaman. Sharonda, my wolf, already appeared while Hank was talking.

   About seven years earlier I was drawn to any picture, story or artwork in which wolves were the subject. Someone had mentioned that it was more than likely my animal guide. I didn’t know what that meant so when I arrived home I pulled my laptop out and learned what an animal guide was, how to meet this guide and how to find out his/her name. I had sat on the floor in my bedroom with a candle lit and had played beautiful meditative music in the background, closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths then asked for my animal guide to appear. In a few minutes, in this dream-like world, I opened my eyes. I saw myself seated cross-legged in a clearing. An invisible wall encircled me about ten feet, pushing dense fog away from me as if protecting me. I was barely able to see the limbs of trees drooping from above, I was in the woods. I wasn't frightened, just curious.

   Again, I asked for my spirit animal to show itself. At first, I saw a squarish nose push through the fog and soon its head. The wolf studied me as if he/she didn’t trust me. I asked the animal, “Are you my guide?”

   A beautiful calming voice replied, “Yes.”  Her mouth didn’t open like a character from a cartoon, we communicated telepathically. She must have finally felt safe because she walked entirely out of the fog into the clearing. I asked for a name, and she told me it was Shoranda. She was absolutely huge, maybe about 140 pounds and gorgeous. (I'm used to my 18 pound Scottish Terrier.) She had a white undercoat with a soft grey throughout her coat with distinct black tips around her ears and throughout her body. I remember thanking her for deciding to be my guide, and she had bowed her head. But that’s all I did. I didn‘t know how to journey, so I never used her in any healings.
 
    I wasn’t surprised when I learned that I had a wolf for my guide because I had been drawn to any picture of them and somehow pictures were showing up in magazines or on T.V.  I lingered there in the midst, staring at this incredible creature, my heart pounding as if I had just seen my favorite movie star. It felt so strange to experience this magical world. But I realized this wasn't the first time. When I was young, I remember loving everything about owls and for some odd reason when I needed to see better at night, I would ask for owl’s help and believe it or not, my bad eyesight improved. Don’t even ask me how I knew as a third grader to ask for owl's help. Then in 6th grade, the top runners were competing, I asked for Jaguar to help me. I felt like I had melted into his body. I won 2nd place.   Now I wonder if I had been a Shaman in another life. I am a teensy weensy Cherokee Indian.

  Before I journeyed, I had already decided to work on healing my daughter first. I knew with all the negative feelings that she had internalized and the loneliness she felt more than likely caused her fibromyalgia. Of course, I asked her soul for permission to work on her emotional and physical pain: I didn’t want to push my will on her because I knew it would be considered dark magic if I didn’t receive permission. A soft silky drawn out 'yes' was heard. ( I always asked permission to do Reiki on her long distance and sometimes I received a 'no.')

    In this new magical world, I stated that I would like Nicole’s fibromyalgia, asthma, and emotional pain to disappear. Magically, my daughter materialized, naked, floating about three feet above the river. Greenish-brown water rose and swirled slowly around the top of her paper white ankles. I noticed a wide bank of dirt behind her and a backdrop of Evergreens far from the shore. A dark grey rough rock, the size of a small adult fist, lifted from the river bed and magically scrubbed the white skin on her torso, arms, and legs. It vanished, and I thanked the rock for its gift. Immediately following, a swirl of water rose from the river and spun around her slowly like a top. Once it reached the level of her head, the spinning increased, then rose and disappeared into the endless sky. While I thanked the water, I watched as Nicole's body dissipated into nothingness.
   My heart beat irregularly feeling blessed to be experiencing this healing.  I was ecstatic to be in this magic world. Thinking the journey was over I began to open my eyes, but unexpectedly, Nicole emerged on the shore right in front of me with her eyes closed. A thin black snake about twelve inches long with red spots slid up around both of her legs and around her torso. Stunned, I watched a thin limbless reptile slither into her left eye. I stood there wondering how the heck this could even happen when suddenly I had X-ray vision and observed the snake shrink into the size of a worm and slither around in her brain chomping down invisible edibles. I was stunned by how real everything seemed. I kept thinking as I was watching, shouldn’t I be freaking out? But for some reason, I trusted this world of the Shaman. It felt so familiar. After thanking rock, water and snake for their healing powers, I started to open my eyes when I realized I had forgotten to thank Shoranda for her protection, so I did.

  I opened my eyes slowly, and even though the room was somewhat dark, I squinted as if shards of light from a lighthouse were shooting directly into my eyes.  I closed my eyes again. Such an unbelievable feeling racked my frame. I was delirious. Tears of joy ran down onto the carpet, euphoria, and serenity, a feeling I hadn’t experienced in an Ice Age. I knew I had journeyed before.  Undoubtedly, I had stepped into a world my soul remembered. I now knew for sure I had been a Shaman in a previous life; it felt so familiar, so at home. I was overjoyed that I had relearned another tool in which to help others.  
    There are many excellent books out there to help you practice Shaman, but I also encourage you to get online and sign up for a weekend workshop. It will change your life. 
   
I learned more about traveling in the Shaman world from this book.

75 Cleansing your house of negative energy will help with positive mood and clearer thinking

   Only after I began taking Reiki classes, a natural healing technique, did I learn the importance of cleansing my house. Yes, I’ve heard of cleaning the house, something I rarely have time for, so I pay someone else to do it. But few people have heard of cleansing the house of negative energy. Now that I clear my home, I notice when the air feels stagnant, and the energy stuck.

   The last few years of teaching, I tried to cleanse my classroom once a week; I should have done it every day. Kids who I didn’t know what I had done came and sat in my classroom during lunch or before school, and even between classes. I asked them why they were here because many times their classroom was next door. One boy looked at me and smiled. "Ms. B., we feel so relaxed in this room. Please, is it okay to be here?
   Just think how much energy transpires in the place you are working: frustration, confusion, anger, worry. This negative energy is not only felt by you but also your coworkers.  And  think of the baggage you carry into the home and your worries about the various news that is happening around the world. Your body is on overload.

   There are numerous ways you can pick up negative energy.  If you are driving on the freeway, you pick up tons of it.  Or think about the arguments you’ve either had at work or at home or the negative thoughts and judgments you might have had in the course of one day. The negative energy not only grabs onto you, but it hangs heavily in the air. Ultimately if these negative thoughts continue, holes will start opening in your aura, (your energy field around you) eventually making you mentally or physically ill.  The aura is an electromagnetic field that surrounds every living being. Factors that influence the aura to change colors are emotions, physical condition, thoughts, level of consciousness, and reactions to surroundings.  The colors of your aura constantly change depending on what you say or think. 

   Also, if anyone in the house is ill; it’s time to clear the space. This will remove the stagnant air and help with the healing. I know, I know, you’re thinking not another chore.  Honest, it will only take 5 to 10 minutes to once or twice a week. And if you have older children, you can teach them how to do it. It will make a massive difference in everyone’s mood in the house.  It will also help release anxiety and stress from the demands of life. When you purify your home, you restore balance and harmony to everyone’s life that's living in the house.  

   I like to use Sage because I enjoy the woodsy smell and because it’s easy to get a hold of.  But Frankincense and Copal can also be used. Sage is one of the quickest ways to get rid of that negative energy. It has been a sacred plant that American Indians have used for thousands of years for healing, energy cleansing and various ceremonies.  I prefer the actual dried leaves which are bound together.

                                                                                                                 I love the smell of Sage

     Using Sage and Frankincense is an excellent combo for chasing away bad frequencies. If you don’t like the smell of Sage, Frankincense is an alternative that has a honey-like aroma.  It provides protection, raises spiritual awareness, and will ease everyone’s stress and anxiety.




 

 Frankincense

Copal

   Another alternative is Copal incense. It is one of the oldest forms of energy cleansing. In fact, in the burial grounds at the Mayan and Aztec ruins, large amounts of Copal resin were found. The resin in the tree is known to have powerful medicinal properties after it sits for ten years curing. You can add it to Frankincense or just burn it alone to alter those negative thoughts into a peaceful, positive attitude.

    Many times you can find these incenses at a  spiritual/healing shop.

How to Cleanse Your Home of Negative Energy – Make it a habit

1.  Open all your windows and hook the curtains around something if they’re blocking too much of the window.  If possible, open all the doors. (Sometimes I can’t do this because there are too many bugs.) This will allow all the negative energy to escape. Pull the blinds up or the curtains back to let in the light.  I always do the cleanse during the day, when the sun is shining.  If I’m doing a quick cleansing, I don’t open the windows.

2.  I know this might sound crazy, but if your house is dirty and cluttered……get organized and clean it.  I've walked into three homes of hoarders, and it felt like someone punched me in the gut. I felt so nauseous. Negative spirits love to hide in this type of house, and negative energy gets stuck in this type of environment.  Get someone to help you if it’s too overwhelming. Notice how the energy in the house feels when you have a clean, organized house. If that's too overwhelming, clean one room at a time.

3.  Light the sage, but make sure you have a heat resistant dish or an abalone shell underneath to catch the falling embers.  I ask for my guides to come in to help me. “Please, dear Father, Mother, and Archangel Michael protect this house and let any negative energy be released.” (You can make up your own prayer and you can ask for any of your guides or angels to help.) If you want, as you smudge each room, say a special cleansing prayer or state your intention out loud. (There are tons of prayers on the internet that you can find if you don’t want to make up your own. This will amplify the cleansing.) I usually start in my kitchen and go clockwise around the house. If I have time, I place a cross on each window. Then I walk around waving my sage in the air, corners and in the closets. Rooms, where electronics are on all the time, need more clearing than others.

   Now, this I rarely do but here’s some additional clearing you can do if you have the time or if you have someone physically or mentally sick in the house. 

    Now that your space is clear, it’s time to fill it with positive energy, which is where the sacred Palo Santo, “holy wood” in Spanish, comes in. It has a slightly sweet and relaxing smell. It has been used for thousands of years. This ancient healing wood is known to bestow blessings of love and light. It is harvested from the Palo Santo trees of South America after it has naturally fallen on the ground. It takes between 4 -10 years for its natural healing powers to become potent. (If I remember right, I found this wood a little difficult to light.) Unlike most incense which burns easily, you must continue to blow on the piece of wood. Walk around your home with the holy wood and ask your angels to bless your space with positive energy.

   If you can’t handle the smell of incense:

    Buy some sea salt and place some in all four corners of each room.  This salt will suck up the bad energy and expel it. To boost the cleansing, grind up saffron and mix it into the salt. After about 48 hours, sweep or vacuum the salt and flush it down the toilet.

    Or you can use white candles which have been used for centuries to remove toxic vibes. There are also candles that are made with therapeutic oils, which makes the cleansing effect more powerful. Light the candle and say a prayer, then walk to each room-clearing your space, then blow it out. I prefer using incense, but Alan sometimes has difficulty with the Sage, so I clear the house once he leaves, I keep the windows open for a few hours. By the time he returns, he notices only a waft of the scent.
   Just like everything cleansing will become a habit, one that everyone in the house will thank you.

74 A few changes in your life could make you feel healthier and happier

   “Don’t put the key to happiness in someone else’s pocket.”  Author unknown.   You know me, I love love,  love quotes.  Must be the English teacher in me.

   It’s human nature to think if we had certain things in our life, we’d be satisfied.  If my daughter would forgive and want a relationship with me, I’d be happy.  If I found the right girlfriend, life would be perfect. (Our son often times felt this way.)  Or if my parents would just listen to me, I’d do better in school. Or if I owned a  C7 Corvette Stingray/Z06/Grand Sport, I would have everything.

   However, we can’t rely on others to make us happy. We must rely on ourselves.  There are no magic incantations or potions to swallow either that is going to make us elated.  Owning that ‘one thing’ or having a certain amount of money or a boyfriend will still not make us content. No one can make us happy except ourselves.

   Do you want to be happy in your life now?  Are you listening? I mean NOW. Well, buckle your seatbelt because you might be doing a little swerving on this new road. Change is not always easy.

Everyone wants to be happy the majority of the day

      Spirituality. For some reason many place spirituality last on their list for happiness and yet I think it should be at the top.  No, you don’t have to find a perfect church, but I do recommend it if you have children you should find a place of worship. Why? Because the Sunday school will reinforce what you teach at home, schools do a little bit, but not as much as a church. Also, there’s a lot of church activities that gives you and your family a sense of community.  And as an adult, it’s nice to meet people who have similar beliefs. 

   If you’re not interested in going to church, find a few minutes every day to sit, close your eyes, take a few nice deep breaths and focus on your heart or your third eye.  Reconnect with God.  Notice what happens physically and mentally.   You’ll notice how calm you’ve become and happier.  (If you like this feeling, read Blog # 7 on how to meditate.  https://othersideofloss.blogspot.com/2017/12/7-do-you-know-how-meditation-helps-or.html

   Exercise is imperative for the body and the mind. Endorphins are released in the body when you exercise which triggers a positive mood. Whether you work out at the gym, play basketball or soccer, or you work out at home, you should exercise at least 4 days a week for at least half an hour, an hour is optimum.  If your goal is to lose fat, you should do at least two but no more than three high-intensity cardio sessions per week. The bodybuilder, Craig Capurso, believes that using more compound movements where you’re standing is essential if you want to lose weight. That means you’re not using the gym machines as often. If you are only training for muscle gain, once or, twice per week should be the limit. Since I want both, I split my hour and do both types of exercise.      

   Eating healthy meals three times a day nourishes the body and the mind. If you are too busy to cook all the time, buy yourself a crockpot. There are only two people in our house, and yet I prepare for six. That’s because I can then serve Alan and me one dinner and then freeze two containers of a meal. I place masking tape on the top and write what’s in it and the date and year.  Then when I have a busy or lazy day, I take the container out a day ahead of time and place it in the refrigerator, and heat it up on the stove the next day.  Rarely do I use the microwave as I believe it zaps the vitamins out of the food.  Then all I have to do is prepare a salad or some vegetables.

   Cut down on the sugar.  The more you eat, the more you crave. Sugar blocks the absorption of essential minerals, including calcium and magnesium. Scientific studies have proven that a deficiency in these two micronutrients leads to sugar cravings.  

   Transform your pantry:  https://www.bodybuilding.com/content/transform-your-pantry-with-these-healthy-staples.html  

   Deep sleep. If you usually have a difficult time turning that brain off, get off that computer a couple hours before you go to bed.  Sleeping at least 6 to 8 hours is essential for concentration, and so you don’t overact to situations.  A decent amount of sleep also reduces stress. What if you can’t turn your brain off?   Rarely do I have this problem since I started meditating.  Try concentrating on your breathing. If something pops into your mind, push it away.  Play meditation music or slow classical music at a low volume if you have difficulty falling asleep.

      Relationships.    It’s easy to get caught up with work and ourselves, but when you focus and give priority to your relationships, you switch the emphasis from yourself onto others. Once you do this, you’ll notice you’re more open to show your love thereby opening the doors to be loved even more.  When we slow ourselves down, we become more aware of ourselves and how we spend our time. This awareness makes us look at our life and work on balancing it.  This, of course, leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment, a happier, and healthier life.  

       Feeding your mind.   When you take fifteen minutes or more to read a good book, your vision of the world expands, your vocabulary increases and your ability to communicate improves.  You become more focused and more vibrant. Also, you feel more alive, and happier.

      Forgiving yourself and others.  Delving into the past doesn’t allow you to live in the present.  Forgive yourself or someone else for your/their mistakes is imperative to stay in the present. Don't beat yourself up. Ask yourself what you’ve learned from your mistakes.  And remember, human beings aren’t perfect, we make mistakes over and over again.  I’ve certainly had a shit load of experience in this area.    
       Pick a cause.  Donate your time to a cause. It doesn't have to be once a week, maybe it's twice a month you are helping out or every other week.
 

Here are some useful techniques which will help you stay in the present, cut ties from family members if you're worried about them too much, or if someone has passed away and you're still emotionally tied to him or her, etc.  

Check out on my blog: https://othersideofloss.blogspot.com/
Blog# 

   7  -  Meditation  - How to quiet the mind

   8  -   Forgiveness

  21 -  Techniques to release negative thoughts about yourself and others

  33 -   Cutting emotional ties to family or friends  (you’ll still love them but not be dragged down)

  36 –  Two quick techniques to return to the now

  51 –  Bounce out of depression or anxiety

  61 –  Stop playing the victim

73 Everyone should have a hobby or two. It builds not only skills but confidence

    I swear I popped out of my mom doing some type of hobby. Or maybe it was just the time period I was born into, the 50's. We didn't own a T.V. until I was in third grade and even then I think there were only three channels.  I enjoyed, drawing, and reading, lots of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mysteries. When I was 13, I learned to crochet from my mother which I have returned to doing these past ten years on a regular basis.  I also enjoy singing and playing the piano, gardening, hiking, and traveling.  And after hurting my back a few times over 15 years ago, I  work out four times a week and love it.  I also used to make all my cards, but I've drifted away from that hobby, but I play Eucher once a month, which is a card game with a group of friends since our kids were in junior high.

   And believe it or not, one hobby which I used to do for fun, but now that I'm retired, I consider my profession, a writer. I've actually been paid once for a magazine article in "Angels on earth" and have had one article placed in the "Topanga Messenger," a local newspaper. Cool, huh? So hobbies sometimes can turn into a profession.

   I've met a few teachers who are scared to retire because they have nothing to do except watch sports on T.V. or watch their grandkids. I told them to pick up a hobby, and they said, "I'm too old for that."

   My comment, "You're never too old." Okay, maybe bunjie jumping....
   Having a hobby teaches many life skills such as patience, perseverance and it reduces stress. But it also makes you more interesting, so it will help your social life.And learning a new one develops ne neurons in the brain.

   For a couple of years, I taught crafts in the high school.  Since there weren’t many art classes at the time, the kids devoured the different lessons.  I actually taught crochet, and the kids made their own scarfs. The boys at first didn’t like it one single bit. They said, "This is for girls."  But I informed them that actor Russell Crowe knits, Randy Grossman tight end for Pittsburgh Steelers and Rosey Grier, and musician Ringo Star, actors David Arquette, Ryan Reynolds and Scott Baio all knit, crochet and do needlepoint.

     “Who’s Rosie Greer?” Jose chuckled at the name.

     “He’s an actor, singer, Protestant minister, and former professional American football player.”

His eyes enlarged.

   “But why would he do that? My grandma knits.” another macho student asked.

   “Because it makes you relax,” I said. “Did you know Rosey Grier even wrote a book on needlepoint for men?”  Their eyebrows raised in surprise and a few of the girls giggled. Well, that piece of information changed their minds. They stopped griping and asked me or some of the girls for help on their scarf. 

   My students were so proud of themselves when they finished their scarfs. Some of them gave their scarf to their girlfriend or boyfriend, and others wore them during the fall and winter.

   Get your kids or even yourself involved in a hobby. There are many health benefits to having one, and sometimes it gets you out of the house, you meet people. I saw my students gain confidence in a skill they never thought they were capable of doing.  Many hobbies require creativity, and this can sometimes transfer over to a job. It also builds confidence once you get the hang of it. Remember, learning new things keeps our brain flexible and young. If you or your child pick a challenging hobby, it will ready him or you for learning new things on a job.

   When you’re doing something you enjoy, you let go of the worry and relax. This helps to rejuvenate the mind.  Hobbies that involve physical activity creates chemical changes in the body which helps reduce stress. But even if your hobby does not require physical activity, you can still benefit.

    Sometimes your hobby might require you or your children to go outside the house and meet new people. Maybe you’re interested in playing Poker, or soccer or being involved with the local theater company. Some of my friends are people I have met through my hobbies, and it's an easy way to make new friends when you travel or move to a new area.    

   Having hobbies teaches you and your children to be confident, flexible and creative.

              knitting

Tips on helping your child or yourself select a hobby and please don’t let him or her only choose computer games:

1. Think about the amount of time you’re willing to spend on the hobby. If it’s a sport and your child is already involved in two of them, then that’s enough. Maybe, he can paint and assemble model airplanes.

2. Don’t pick something so challenging that it’s going to be so frustrating to learn it, or where it takes years to perfect it. You’ll go crazy, or your child will drive you insane with his or her whining.

3.  Don’t pick a hobby that is so stressful that you are pulling your hair out unless you are doing something else which is relaxing.

4.  Pick a hobby that you have a natural ability with already. In other words, don’t choose surfing if you’re paranoid about water.

5.  Don’t forget you also have to think about your level of fitness and your finances.  Some sports are extremely expensive.

Here are some excellent links with tons of ideas for hobbies.

https://hobbylark.com/misc/How-to-Choose-a-Hobby
 

https://wehavekids.com/parenting/100-Hobbies-for-Kids

  

72 All the preservatives and colorants placed in food can impede concentration and hinder learning

    Kids learn by example, so eat healthy. Of course, you can have a couple days where you eat a small bag of potato chips or drink that Energy drink. Yes, when given money to buy lunch, many of my students  picked up a Gatorade or an Energy drink and some garbage food on the way to school if a store is close by. Most adults, let alone kids don’t realize what’s in those drinks or snacks that might be causing that asthma, psoriasis (itchy patches on the skin) or hyperactivity, aggressive behavior or the inability to focus.  Maybe monitoring what you or your child eats could help with ADD, ADHD, Autism or Tourettes.

    I used to react to chocolate. It made me very hyper. As for my son, it made him aggressive. Once when I picked Kyle up from the Montessori, the teacher told me he wasn’t allowed to wear his cowboy boots to school anymore because he kept kicking kids. I asked if there was a birthday party that day and with a look of surprise, she said, “Yes.”  I asked her to read the health form, so she walked into the office and returned with the card in hand.  She was very embarrassed. Under ALLERGIES, I had written clearly, ‘chocolate.’ As for my daughter, she went through a  period where she would get a stomach ache after she drank milk. We took her off it for a little while and then she grew out of it.

    As a parent, we have some control over what our children eat, at least when they're home. However, as a teacher, we have zero.  I would become so frustrated with the number of students who ate and drank so much garbage before class began. No wonder they had difficulty focusing. There is a Circle K across the street from Canoga High School, so they’d walk into my classroom with a Gatorade, or Monster drink and a bag of hot Cheetos.  I finally decided to show them a technique which would show them that what they does affect them. If I had a minute, I’d ask, “Can I muscle test you?” Most of the time the answer was yes.

     I asked the student to lay the poison down then I’d place my hand on one of their shoulders and asked him to hold the other straight out in front. I'd tell him that I’m going to push down on his arm and he's going to resist.  This is done to show the student how strong he is when not holding the item.

    Next, I returned the Monster can, and he holds it down beside his leg and holds out his other arm. I  push down. (Not like I’m trying to win the Olympics, just a steady push.) If the arm easily drops, the individual is extremely sensitive to one of the ingredients in the Monster drink. I remind the students that we are what we eat. If they can’t concentrate after they have drank or eaten something that means they need to stay away from that product. Usually, the student walked to the trash can and threw their drink away, but sometimes I did have a few shrugs, and "I don’t care" as they gulped the Monster down before the bell rang.

   I remind them that if they want, they can go home and write all the ingredients on different pieces of paper and test for each ingredient separately. This way they can find out exactly what they're sensitive to. A student taught me the paper technique; he learned it from his allergist. (I used to bring bags of sugar, salt, flour, etc. to class to test them after they had state testing and their brains were too tired to think.)  You might have to switch arms if you’re testing for a lot of allergens. If you don't have anyone to push that arm down, you can sit and place the item on your lap and hook your pointing fingers and thumbs together and pull (looks like a link of chin). If they break apart easily, you are sensitive to that item. Of course, if anyone has significant issues caused by allergies, they should get professionally tested.
   Most common drinks students walked into my room drinking were Rock Star, Monsters, and soda. Consuming two energy drinks per day is ingesting the same amount of caffeine in 12 cans of regular soft drinks like Coke or Pepsi.   

  The biggest culprit many of my students found that they were allergic to was sugar. Did you know that one teaspoon of sugar equals 4 grams of sugar, so that means 34g divided into 4... Go ahead, make a quick guess. Yup! That means 8.2 teaspoons of sugar is in one 20 oz container of Gatorade.  That’s a lot of sugar.  And Dextrose which is modified sugar often times is also added.  That word modified should warn you.

   Here are some more ingredients in Gatorade:  Sodium (One teaspoon of table salt converted to milligram equals to 5,687.50 mg.) Sucralose is used as an alternative to sugar, also called Splenda.  (My body cannot handle this type of sugar, it makes me hyper.) Sodium Citrate is used as a food additive to enhance flavors. Sucrose syrup is made from liquefied table sugar or sweeteners. Because it’s high in empty calories, it’s low in nutrition.  The Mayo Clinic cautions that when drank often it is likely to cause obesity which contributes to type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and coronary artery diseases.

   Made up of two to three carbohydrates, high fructose corn syrup is the source of glucose, sucrose, and fructose found in sports drinks. Our body doesn’t know how to process this sugar, so it turns to fat.

   Food dye is not healthy for many because our bodies are sensitive to it, so we find it difficult to focus. Artificial colors come in different shades labeled with numbers. These are used as an ingredient in soft drinks. Some researchers have found that there is a link between food dyes and hyperactivity.

    FD&C Blue No. 1 and No. 2                               Orange B

    FD&C Yellow No. 5  and No. 6                           Red No. 2 (may cause cancer)

    FD&C Green No. 3                                              FD&C Red No. 3 and No.40 

   I’m sure there are other dyes, just be cautious with anything you put in your mouth like fruit snacks, fruit-flavored cereals, candy, canned fruit, dessert mixes, toothpaste, sauces, sports drink, vitamins, etc.;

  Be aware of preservatives. The typical one is monosodium glutamate or MSG. However, be careful because there are other products which contain MSG except they hide under different names: hydrolyzed soy protein, autolyzed yeast,  sodium glutamate, Accent, Zest, Ajinomoto, and Vetsin.
   A study combined synthetic food dyes with the preservative sodium benzoate and found increased hyperactivity in children. Sodium Benzoate is a common food preservative used in a plethora of processed foods and drinks. Also, it is used as an antifungal preservative in pharmaceutical products. Sodium benzoate is sometimes added to: jellies and jams, sauerkraut, hot sauces, carbonated drinks, salad dressings, and condiments. Some foods naturally contain it, like cranberries, cinnamon, prunes, and apples. (Studies are presently going on testing the reaction on hyperactive children.) Alternative names: benzoic acid, potassium benzoate, benzoate.

Other chemical preservatives to look for are:

    butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA)           sodium nitrate

    butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)          tert-Butylhydroquinone (TBHQ)

   Sodium nitrite is usually found in preserved meat products like sausages, cured and canned meats. Concerns about this preservative are that too much may cause pancreatic cancer and other health problems.

   Sodium Sulfite (E221) is a preservative used to make wine and other processed foods. About one in 100 people are sensitive to sulfites in food. Those who are sensitive may experience headaches, breathing problems, and rashes. In some cases, sulfites have caused death.

  Sulfur additives are still used widely in the U.S. The Food and Drug Administration have prohibited their use on raw fruit and vegetables. Reactions include bronchial problems, especially if prone to asthma, low blood pressure, flushing, tingling sensations or anaphylactic shock. This additive also destroys vitamins B1 and E in our bodies. Avoid E220 if you suffer from conjunctivitis, bronchitis, emphysema, asthma, or have a cardiovascular disease. It’s found in beer, soft drinks, dried fruit, juices, cordials, wine, vinegar, and potato products. (I sometimes have difficulty with certain wines and beer.)

   Propyl Paraben often used as a preservative in foods including tortillas, bread products, and food dyes. It also has been showing up in beverages, dairy products, meat, and vegetables.  Many cosmetics, such as creams, lotions, shampoos and bath products have propyl paraben in them.

   Studies indicate that subjects had decreased sperm counts and testosterone levels. It has also been known to accelerate the growth of cancer cells in breasts and cause fertility problems in women.
Alternative names: 4-Hydroxybenzoesäurepropylester; propyl paraben; propyl p-hydroxybenzoate; propyl parahydroxybenzoate; nipasol; E216

   Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA) and butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) (E320)  are preservatives found in chewing gum, vegetable oils, cereals and potato chips. This preservative keeps foods from changing color, changing flavor or spoiling. It affects the neurological system of the brain, modifies behavior and has a potential to cause cancer.  Found in Jello, cereal, frozen sausages, gum, lard, enriched rice, shortening, and candy.

   Be wary of trans fat. Trans fats are created when manufacturers add hydrogen to vegetable oil. Watch your consumption of fried doughnuts, cakes, pie crusts, biscuits, frozen pizza, cookies, crackers, and margarine.

   Trans fats are  believed to increase the risk of heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.  Trans fat somehow raises the bad (LDL) cholesterol levels and lowers the good (HDL) cholesterol levels. Alternative names: partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil, partially hydrogenated pal

    I have never heard of someone being allergic to a red apple. (I thought an apple a day kept the doctor away.)   But evidently some people are allergic to salicylate which is not only found in red apples but almonds, grapes, tomatoes, and cranberries. Salicylate is also used in aspirin and other pain medication. Dr. Benjamin Feingold eliminated artificial dyes, flavors and salicylates from the food in hyperactive patients in the 1970s and found that 30 to 50 percent of them improved.

  Every one of us has a unique body, and so if we notice that we or a loved one has become hyperactive, inattentive or starts shaking or feeling sick, you might keep a food journal and write down what you eat and how you feel afterwards. You might find it helpful to stop eating, one at a time, the top eight food allergens:  wheat, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, soy, fish, and shellfish. Or  Muscle Test yourself.  A doctor or dietitian can help you with this process.          

  My rule is if you can’t pronounce the words or if there are more than 4 syllables in the ingredients, maybe you shouldn’t be eating or drinking the product.  You can experiment by avoiding these additives one at a time to see if it impacts your behavior or your child’s.  I used to write down the four syllable words, but over the years, the manufacturers keep changing the names so we, the consumer won’t recognize the unhealthy ingredient.
     Good luck and stay healthy! But remember, don't beat yourself up or your kids, if someone slips.
Moderation.

HELPFUL SITES:

https://www.livestrong.com/article/1006054-whats-really-inside-those-mcdonalds-chicken-mcnuggets/

https://www.foodmatters.com/article/22-additives-and-preservatives-to-avoid

71 - Keeping your desk clean at home and at work is imperative if you want to stay focused

    Are their days…even weeks you find that you can’t focus or be creative?  Look around. What does your environment look like?  At school, I noticed that if I had three piles of papers or files on my desk or behind me, I had difficulty concentrating.  Finally, I’d become so frustrated that I’d stay after school for a couple of hours and go through all the crap. I’d return the xeroxes and files to the file cabinets or throw the material that I knew I didn’t need in the trash.  (It’s amazing how many files I'd pull when I taught four different subjects a day.)

   The same occurs at home when my cabinets are disorganized I have difficulty finding the stories that I’m working on. Or if my desk has a couple piles on it, (never as high as the ones that used to be at school, I have difficulty organizing my day or writing well, so I stop everything and get organized.

   I can’t tell you what a difference it is to have my environment clean and how much it helps with the clarity of my brain. WOW!  Luckily, I keep the house clean, and since I’m married to an architect, I’ve learned that the visual picture is important, not that I was ever the super messy one, but do't ask my hubbie.

  Think about it. If you are a professional, what does an untidy desk project?  If your desk has dirty tea cups, mountains of clutter and scraps of food scattered around, what does that portray to your clients or to your children?   To a family member you might look unorganized, not focused, but to a client, maybe incompetent. (Look at your office or desk from someone else’s point of view.)  

   When you have piles of papers, invoices or files scattered around you, you feel overwhelmed, scattered and confused, unsure what is, priority. A lot of time is wasted on where to start. Also, there might be time sensitive material lost in the pile or papers.

   Filing things or placing a few papers/files in a container on your desk make you look professional and organized. If you have an office, maybe set up an Inbox and an Outbox. This will help with documents not disappearing. Also, having a drawer organizer will help keep some of those things off your desk such as paper clips, calendar, notebooks, change, etc. And the frustration of having to look for things is minimized tremendously.  Also, the possibility of handling something late is gone.

    Throw away material in the recycling bin if you know you don’t need it. If you’re worried that you might need it later, scan it into your computer.

    Every Friday, if you’re super busy during the week, organize your desk, or if you’re not busy (I’m retired now) do it once a month. Make the time as I promise you it will help you stay calm, and focused. It will also reinforce the fact that you are a professional, and it will promote a creative mind. And if you are a parent, teach your children the importance of keeping their desk clean also. This will be something they will thank you for later in their life.  

   

70 - How to work with Angels or Ascended Masters to help with difficulties you have in your life

   I never heard of Spirit Guides until I started taking a Reiki class which is a natural healing technique that originated in Japan. We were taught that before we began healing someone or if we needed support with an issue, we could ask for guidance and support. 

   Peace of mind is the most important factor to have for a successful connection. To find my angel, I meditated a few minutes, and once in a relaxed state, I asked who my angel was. Instantly, the name Michael came through. I felt that he had been with me for a long time, possibly since birth.  (Read Blog #  7 -  How to Meditate)   Or say a prayer. “ I invite my Guardian Angels to connect with me, to help, guide, and assist me in my life. I require your assistance to ease my mind, and I seek your love and light so that my life may be lit with positive vibrational frequencies. Dear Guardian Angel, I seek help again as I don't know how to help my brother. Please guide me with your loving light.  Thank you for always being available to help me .” Once you say a prayer, you will feel as if your room is filled with light. Sometimes you will feel light spreading from your heart to the rest of your body. Other times I feel beautiful, peaceful energy in the room.

   Sometimes you might only hear the name of the angel or see a vision of your angel, or both might happen. Remember, everyone’s image of that specific angel is different. You might not see anything.  You might hear a name of an angel that you don’t recognize. Reminder, there are angels from other parts of the world. They are all strong and extremely helpful. If a name doesn’t come to mind, ask.      Next, ask your angel for help with an issue. Remember to be observant so that you will be aware if a message comes through. It might be in a dream, or you might notice that a sentence is repeated by a few people.  

   A reminder, you may not want to hear what your angel has to say (my experience with that – blog # 66), but you need to honor the message because if you continue to not listen, your angel will fade into the background until you ask for him or her to come back. Apologize and start honoring your angel’s suggestions if you want a relationship and be able to work with him or her.  

 

 

                I love this book! By Susan Gregg

    You will find that other assistants might come into help in difficult situations. Often times I work with Jesus, Quan Yin and Mother Teresa, and John the Baptist. Many times two or three will come in while I’m working on someone and sometimes there’s only one angel, a relative that has passed to the other side (if I'm working on one of my family members)  and an Ascended Master.

     What is an Ascended Master? They are individuals on earth who have learned their karmic lessons and have decided to remain on Earth as Ascended Masters to help the rest of humanity. Some Ascended Masters are Jesus, Sanat Kumara, Gautama Buddha, Maitreya, Confucius, Mary (mother of Jesus), Lady Master Nada, Enoch, Kwan Yin, Saint Germain, and Kuthumi, to name but a few.

   When you make a prayer to your Guardian Angel or Ascended Master it will always be heard but, it won’t always be answered. To make sure that your prayer is answered, you need to have a good intention and a pure heart. If you make a prayer with the intention of harming or hurting someone, you will never receive any sort of help from a Guardian Angel or an Ascended Master. The Guardian Angel will give you signs of his presence around you. You might hear high pitched frequencies in your ear, or you might see the recurrence of specific numbers in front of you, or you could come across coins from time to time. These are all signs that the Guardian Angel /Ascended Master might use to get your attention, so you know that he is there to help you during your time of need. Always ask for an explanation if you don't understand a message.

Free angel readings:  long reading      https://www.guardian-angel-reading.com

Simple and short -      http://www.earthangels.net.au/free-angel-guidance-reading

Finding your birth angel:   https://www.ucm.ca/en/info/find-your-birth-angels?gclid=CjwKCAjwtIXbBRBhEiwAWV-5nlNGtSFcbStrtmmjzjKy2gt-eEPuIMKBheeju3EXYUXPkGdOuxKiLBoCt9gQAvD_BwE

69 - Yuck! The smell of Nicotene again? A spirit returns to say Hi to his dad

 
  “Happy Anniversary!” Alan said the minute he stepped foot into the kitchen.  Roses? I was surprised with the dozen deep red flowers that he held out to me. And then he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in for a nice kiss. “I love you!” He said warmly.  I didn’t hear that very often anymore, so it took me by surprise. Too much pain has happened in this house that we sometimes forget that we love each other.
   We had celebrated our anniversary  Saturday, the 28^th, two days after our actual anniversary because we had forgotten that it was our special day. That week both of us were caught up in the turmoil of losing Kyle; he had died on our anniversary. We lied and told the mortuary, he died on the 24^th, but our bodies somehow still remember that painful day and we had grumbled at each other until I remembered why we weren't kind to one another.    

   After Alan trimmed the flowers and placed them in a vase, and I  dished out the dinner onto the plates, Alan asked me to sit next to him so we could go through the photos of our Danube trip from last year. I had taken way too many shots. I felt extremely close to him at that moment. There was so much love in the room. It was strange because this magical energy seemed to be exuding from us.  Then ….what the heck? Why was I smelling nicotine?  Oh, yuck, right while we’re eating, gross!  I tried fanning away the smell, but it didn’t get rid of it.  Then the scent became stronger, and it flew into my nostrils, burning the lining.  Finally, I held my nose. “Alan, do you smell that?”

   He looked up from the screen with furrowed eyebrows and looked at me strangely. 

   “No, really, it’s nicotine….what the hell.” I looked around which was stupid because there was no one else in the house except Roxy, our mutt. Had I thought she had taken up smoking? In the back of my mind, I was thinking, this happened about 7 years ago when I had some of Kyle’s friends over to celebrate his new birthday, the day he passed away.  But why now?  Kyle, is that you? Kyle’s head popped into my mind’s eye. What do you…?  And then I looked at Alan, and I knew. “Alan, I know you’re not going to like what I’m going to say, but your son wants to say Hi to you.” I could feel this tremendous love in the room as if God had wrapped his arms around the three of us. It felt so delicious.

   Alan looked up from the screen and turned to me with this blank stare but said nothing.

  “I wonder why he came in now,” I said confused. Alan returned to the computer and started again editing our pictures.  Was it because we were relaxed and not grumbling at each other? We were actually enjoying each other’s company just like the old days, laughing and teasing each other. 

   I think Kyle was trying to remind his dad that he’s still around. Has the pain for the loss of his son closed Alan’s spiritual doors?  I asked him a day later why he didn’t say Hi to his son, and he said he did. Well, then he must have said something to him in his head. I reminded Alan that we can still talk to Kyle even though he's on the other side, but that blank stare popped back up, so I dropped the subject.

    It’s sad that millions of people don’t comprehend that we don’t need to be sad or depressed because a friend or a loved one has left this world. They are ecstatic that they are in heaven. We need to honor that. Also, don't think we are keeping them earthbound when we speak to our dead friend or relative unless your pain is so great that one of them thinks they have to stay earthbound to help you through your grief. You have to let them go. But remember, they have their spiritual life too, you have your life with the living so don't talk to them every day. (Blog # 14 and 32 techniques to release)
   Their spirit stays on earth if they can’t forgive themselves, or if your pain is so intense that they try to help you through it. (Kyle did this for a few years, and yes it took me a few times to release him. It took us both a while to trust that we could still communicate with each other and finally he returned 100%   to his spiritual home,  heaven.
   After Kyle passed away and my students learned that we were communicating, they came up after class and asked me how they could get back in touch with their relative so they could talk to him/her again like they used to when they were little. I told them that they needed to meditate for a few minutes or just slow their breathing down and then welcome their friend or relative back and apologize for being gone for so long. They might have to do this for a few days and then be open to receive. But remember spiritual vibration are sooooo much slower than ours, so don't expect to start a conversation when you're late for work. Good luck!

68 Is your relationship healthy

   What does a healthy relationship look like? Sometimes it’s difficult to know when all too often you’ve heard your parents yelling or saw one of them throwing something at the other or in total contrast, barely talking to each other. How can many of us know what a healthy relationship looks like when we grew up in a dysfunctional family? 

    A solid relationship should feel good; it should not make you feel anxious or stressed. Yes, we’re only human, and sometimes we bump heads, but you should feel comfortable in your relationship the majority of the time.  Remember, if we didn’t knock heads every once in a while, we wouldn’t learn how to compromise, or try something new or learn how to forgive. 

   Your friend, A.K.A., lover, is the person who should support you, listen to you when you’re upset and help you with the challenges you’re facing.  A partner in a healthy relationship accepts and loves you for the person you are today, lifts you up when you need it and reminds you how awesome you are when you’re down. But being in a healthy relationship also means respecting each other’s differences and compromising when there’s a disagreement.

   I think one of the hardest things for me to learn was to compromise. I honestly don’t know where I got my stubborn streak. But I wonder if it was from my father. I don’t think he had heard of the word until his fifties.

   It’s a balancing act to not feel like you are constantly giving in to accommodate your partner’s desires, but here are some things I learned from our 38 years of marriage: compromise….compromise…compromise.

 

1.  Alan and I rarely agree with the choice of furniture, pictures, or the dishes we want in the house. Compromise. One year you choose the sofa, and 8 years later your spouse chooses. Alan has learned that it's okay not to love a picture I wanted for a wall in the bedroom because he chose an oil painting over the fireplace which I didn't particularly like.

2.  The toilet paper roll… How many of you fight about that one? That was the hot argument when we first moved in together. Alan would always get after me for having the paper rip from the bottom. I’d sometimes yell, “Who cares as long as you can rip off the frickin’ paper?” That was and still is my thought on this issue.  But, a good rule – If you’re the one replacing the toilet roll, it’s placed on the way you want it. And when your loved one replaces the roll, he can replace it the wrong way…oops, I mean his way.  Good rule, huh?

   Or maybe your spouse is complaining about the route you’re taking to the movie theatre. Remind her, next time she can drive there her favorite way. 

3.  Negotiate and meet in the middle if possible.  Alan likes the temperature freezing when he is about to go to sleep, so, therefore, three hours before my nightie-night, I am forced to wear a wrap.  He would have it even colder, but we’ve agreed upon a number.  Another common compromise is because he’s a musician besides being an architect is that he loves those big loud parties, but they’re not my favorite. It’s too much energy and sensory overload for me, so we never stay long enough for him, but he understands when I tell him I need to go.

4.  Maybe there’s sometimes where you could try something your partner wants for a week or two and then see how it works.  Obviously, if the new way causes discomfort, go back to the old way.  Examples: Maybe your partner read a psychology magazine about a particular way of disciplining the kids, and you’re willing to try it because the old way just isn’t working very well. Or it could be about changing the way you make love, as it has become routine. And the list goes on.

5.  We almost always argue about where to sit in open seating at a concert.  Somehow, I seem to always lose. Alan wants to sit in the first two rows.  He says it’s because of his hearing. I understand he wants to see the musicians playing their guitars. (He’s a musician.) I, on the other hand, like to sit almost halfway back. (I used to be a theatre teacher; therefore I love to see the full picture.) Compromise. One time I choose where we sit and the next time, he does. Sounds a bit fairer, don’t’ you think?

6.  Libido – we each have our own rhythms and drive. You have to compromise. You don’t want to one day wake up to an empty bed.  Intimacy usually is an important part of a relationship, but if you don’t feel 100% comfortable with something, be honest. A healthy couple checks in with each other when something might be new. Remember, people who love you don’t pressure you or shame you for not doing what they want.

7.  Good partners understand that they are a part of your life – not your entire life. Your partner should encourage you to go out with friends or take that healing class.  Giving each other space is how you grow as a person and as a couple because it gives you more things to discuss. If your partner wants to go to Europe with her high school girlfriends, don’t complain. You should never have to give up your friends or family to have a relationship.   

8.  Figure out if you’re going to have a couple’s checking account or separate ones.  I have friends that have a checking account together and individually. I insisted on separate ones because my father and mom used to argue like crazy sometimes about how my dad spent the money.  

   Alan figured out how much more he makes monthly than I did, so I pay a third of the mortgage and we split everything else in half. There’s a huge difference in income when you have an architect income and a teacher’s check.

9.  It’s not okay when someone dictates how you should dress, whether they blatantly tell you that you don’t look good in that dress or if they try to shame you or make passive aggressive comments like avoiding you. Yes, you can compromise and sometimes wear ‘his’ favorite dress, but when you’re always doing it, you’re losing a part of yourself. 

     Make sure that you and your partner feel comfortable with any compromise. If you don’t feel good about a previous agreement, discuss the subject again. No matter how perfect we think our relationship is, there’s going to be disagreements sometimes. The skill of compromise is a valuable tool to learn in a relationship if you plan on surviving or your relationship will disintegrate, and you will be unhappy and feel alone.

    When a compromise is agreed upon, both of you should feel satisfied. If one of you feels like you’re always being taken advantage of, or if you’re giving in to keep the peace, then ultimately anger and resentment are going to surface. If you feel like this, it’s time to go to a Marriage Counselor. If your partner refuses, go alone, it might help. You have to decide if you're happy in this relationship and feel respected, if you’re not, it’s possibly time to move on.