I remember being paranoid about the Vietnam War, fearful that one of my brothers would be drafted. Still, that feeling has intensified since this COVID pandemic started, worried about my family and friends. Please talk to your children about their feelings. Teach them emotional words. BLOG #5 is perfect for this - All too often, we get busy and forget that kids are kids. Let them draw, sing, talk, dance, or show you how they feel. But if the depression continues, get them help. If you don't have the money, call their school as many times, there's a therapist on campus, or the school can refer you to a state counselor who is cheaper.
What does depression feel or look like? When you feel overwhelmed, unfocused, lost, have sleeping problems, or eat more than usual, or less, you have mood swings or depression. Also, if you feel guilty, lose interest in things you usually liked to do, or you're sad, cry excessively, have thoughts of suicide, become agitated quickly, want to be alone, have fast weight gain or loss, or are stuck on the same thoughts. (You do not have to have all these elements to be identified as depressed.)
If you or a loved one has some of these characteristics, it's time to get help. Go see your regular doctor first to verify there's not something physically wrong. If there's not, get yourself into therapy! There are a ton of different types of treatment out there, and it might take a little time to find the therapy that you find most helpful. Healing is a beautiful journey but a difficult one. If you want to feel whole again and in control of your life, you must be willing to do the work.
Some types of techniques my therapists have used:
Somatic Experiencing – (One of my favorites. You release the hurt or worry and then are resourced into the present.)The therapist will ask the client to discuss what he/she wants to share and then notice if the client's breathing changes or the foot starts tapping, body twitching, crying, etc. The practitioner asks the client to share what's happening in the body and then gives the client self-regulating strategies. One strategy might be to mentally bring in someone, something, or an angel that makes you feel safe. Or you might mentally bring in an item that makes you feel protected. You could also be asked if you need to move around: stand up - wiggle your legs, do squats, rub your arms, or pat your head. These movements release blocked energy. Or you could do tons of yawning or flagellation, yup, farts.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – The practitioner asks the client to share an experience that he/ she wants to talk about and what event occurred to bring that memory up. Next, the therapist helps the client identify the feelings that coincide with the memory. Then the therapist watches the patient's eye movement and helps the patient process the experience by having him/her tap the hand on something, rub something smooth or rough, or audio stimuli might be introduced. Finally, the therapist helps the client update with new data, such as information that is happening now. Afterward, the client is sometimes asked how he/she feels on a scale from 1-10.
Brainspotting – This technique blossomed from EMDR. While the client shares an emotionally charged experience or a feeling, he/she is listening to bilateral sounds on headphones. The client pays attention to where this emotion or experience got stuck and gives the therapist a rating of 1-10 for the severity of this experience. Then the therapist helps the client find the eye position (Brainspotting) where the eyes naturally focus when the client feels that emotion or shares this experience. The therapist is a facilitator and supports the client to slowly and safely move through the feelings and memory and then update the client on the truth. (My therapist has used this with me often.)
Emotional Freedom Therapy - This therapy I did on my own, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, find a therapist who does it. There are tons of you-tube demonstrations, from healing chronic pain to getting rid of sugar addiction. I used this therapy to cut my karmic ties with my son after his 10th car accident because I had become a fearful, nervous wreck.
EFT is a form of psychological acupressure using the energy meridians acupuncturists use but without needles. Instead, you tap with your fingertips on specific spots while you think about your issue (pain, trauma, drug use, etc. You then vocalize a positive statement, thus clearing the blockage, and restoring the balance in your body, physically and mentally. Before starting, you give your problem a number from 1-10, and then after tapping the sequence, you again will give your situation a number. Usually, after a few rounds of EFT, you will find it necessary to get the reaction scale down to at least a 2.
This website should answmany of questions you might have, plus it has the whole process typed up.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist – An LMFT helps each family member to express feelings, and he/she gives coping tools. Make sure the therapist is giving you a skill before you leave.
Constellation Healing - This is an astonishing process, and it's very unusual. It works not only on your present issues but on your ancestral and karmic issues. It shakes up some heavy emotions, but I find that I heal quickly. For example, you might find that alcoholism began after one of your ancestors was forced onto an Indian reservation. This made your great-great grandfather feel like he couldn't protect his family like a man should and took up drinking because of the guilt. This problem, alcoholism, or lack of self-worth gets stuck in the family system and could get passed from one generation to another or skip a generation.
Participants are pulled into the circle and either take on aspects of an ancestor, a perpetrator, the client, or an emotion. The problem is worked out and processed, and then the client's body is updated with the present……what is true now. (I have seen magical things happen with this healing technique. I've seen kids who've had learning problems months later improve, or the problems disappear after a few sessions.) it is sometimes emotionally painful because it releases tons of stuff. Sometimes it's not even the client's, it's a relative's, but the therapist is there to help you process the information.
Reiki – This energy technique originated in Japan. This technique unblocks physical, mental, and spiritual issues caused in the present life and past lives. It is incredibly relaxing, helps you feel grounded, and helps promote the healing of your health issues. Many like this technique because old issues are released, but you don't need to remember them.
Remember, not everyone is the same, so different techniques will work for others. But if you're not feeling better, you know you need to go to a different therapist.
If you wish to write a personal message to me, my email is tbboivin8@gmail.com I will attempt to respond in a couple of days. I also am a Reiki and SHaman Practioner, and if you need some help, you can call me at 310-780-2898. I charge $100.00 an hour.
