94 Loneliness and Depression, A Growing Problem - What Can You Do to Help Yourself, A Family Member or A Friend?

     I believe that every person on this planet has experienced depression a few times in their life, but when it becomes part of your daily life or if you go through cycles of depression, there are some things you can try.  But if they don't work, get yourself into therapy. 

Why are so many people lonely or depressed?

  1.  Baby boomers (!944-1964) had fewer children and more divorces than their parents, so there’s less companionship in their Golden Years.  One in six Boomers live alone, and about one in eleven people 50 and older have no spouse, partner, or living child. Presently, there are many single people in the U.S., more than we’ve had in over 130 years. And marriages occur 

later in life.
2.  Also, tons of people work online from home or freelance from home, so they don't have workplace comradery. 

3. People connect on social media, but researchers wonder if this might make people feel lonely because of the photos posted: vacations, weddings, boyfriends/girlfriends. etc. Viewers feel left out, or they feel like they're not keeping up with the Jone's. 

4. Students feel tremendous pressure to succeed, so they spend a lot of time on their studies, so they don’t have enough time with friends.   

 

  Rediscover your passion at any age:  

    If you are working so many hours that you have no time for anything else, or you’re taking too many units at the university, or you're taking too many gifted/college-level classes at school that you don’t have time for yourself, you need to reevaluate your quality of life. You still need ‘me’ time to balance your life.

    Ask yourself, what did you like doing when you were happy: baseball, knit, art, playing the trumpet, chess? Think about how much time you have to give and get your butt out in the real world and make friends and do at least one thing; you'll be surprised how good you will feel because you are around others, laughing and getting out of the house making friends.

1.  Get online, use the yellow pages and look up nearby community centers and libraries to see what classes or workshops they offer. You'll be surprised by the variety of classes offered, you might find one you like.  Check out:  https://nextdoor.com/join/  to see what’s happening in your neighborhood. (If you can’t drive, see if there are free services or vans for you, or call your church as sometimes there’s a support group that can help with the driving.) 

2.  Great site to meet people who have the same interest - https://thedroidguy.com/2019/01/5-best-social-apps-make-friends-meet-people-similar-interests-1068221

3. If you're not sure what the volunteer opportunities are in your hometown, check out: VolunteerMatch.org, Idealist.org, and HandsOn Network to match you with an organization that would love to have a little of your time and energy. 

4. Whatever kind of group activity interests you, you'll find it at MeetUp.com. Scroll through the various events in your city to find something that lights your fire, or type in your interest and see what's available.

5.  Barry has some great ideas to get your butt out of your house and meet people:       https://liveboldandbloom.com/05/self-confidence/ways-meet-new-people

6.   I wonder if people get so busy that they can't fit church/synagogue/mosque into their schedule. This gives a sense of belonging and offers various avenues to donate time. There are many different sects, from extreme to more open-minded churches.

7.  I'm sure even with this Pandemic there are ways to help[people online......just talking and being there for someone. check out helplines that might need more people. Of course, you'll have to go through a little training.

Good luck and have fun!

Some startling statistics:

* teen suicides - The suicide rate for white children and teens between 10 and 17 was up 70% between 2006 and 2016, the latest data analysis available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The suicide rate in black children has risen drastically, twice the rate as white.

*children attempted suicide - In 2008 through 2015, nearly 116,000 children aged 5 to 17 were seen at 31 hospitals, either for attempted suicide or having suicidal thoughts. Two-thirds were girls. Overall, suicide-related teen hospitalizations accounted for 0.66 percent of all hospitalizations at the children's hospitals in 2008. But by 2015, that figure had more than doubled, to almost 2 percent, according to the report.  https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-05-youth-suicide.html

*men 30 to  60 -  About 3,000 men take their lives each year. This is twice the rate among young men in their late teens and 20s – who used to be the highest-risk group. Experts think this is due to the decline of traditional masculine jobs, and lifelong marriages have made these men question their identity.  These men are more dependent on their partner for emotional support and have fewer friends outside marriage, so they take divorce/separation harder. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2205826   

*elderly -  Census from 2014 (couldn’t find and the data newer, so I’m sure this has almost doubled.) are 14.9 suicides out of every 100,000 people over 65 in the United States. Beyond mental illness, researchers have found other risk factors in late-life suicide, including physical illness and pain, the inability to function in daily life, fear of becoming a burden, and social disconnection. “Things that remove older people from their social groups — bereavement, retirement, isolation — leave them vulnerable,” Dr. Conwell said.

   

93 My Dead Son Verified that there is Spiritual Life Up in Heaven

Journal Entry       2011

                                             Kyle, 21 years old, a year before he overdosed.

   The bell rang, and I gathered the French materials that needed to be copied for tomorrow’s homework and briskly walked down the hallway. A few kids yelled, “Hi, Ms. B.” above the cacophony of noise. Suddenly Kyle’s voice popped into my head, “Guess who I just walked in the forest with?”   His exuberant voice reminded me of when he was little.   

   He responded before I could answer. “Grandma and Grandpa Boivin.”  Honestly, I wasn’t surprised, since he has shared a lot of his experiences with me since he passed away; it seemed like another normal day in heaven.  “It’s nice to talk and spend time with them. They're relaxed now and fun to be around. The forests aren’t anything like I’ve ever seen before: Some forests have tons of shades of reds and another forest, colors of bright orange. Even the shades of green are more intense than they are on earth, or maybe it’s because I’m more observant up here.  And in some areas, you can barely see the sky because the foliage is so dense. It’s so cool.”

   At least now he’s learned to slow down when he talks to me. When he first had started speaking to me, I’d get bits and pieces of words and then buzzing like a bee until I begged him to slow down.  I guess a spirit’s energy vibrates at a faster pace than a human’s. It felt good to hear how contented he sounded.

   “That’s really neat you can talk to our relatives that have passed to the other side.  I never thought about life existing up in heaven after you die, even though I accepted that ghosts existed on earth way before you passed away,” I said.

   “I didn’t either. But I never believed in heaven,” a little laugh escaped. 

    I guess there is life after death.  A verse from the Bible floated in: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”  We had stopped going to church when Nicole was in fourth grade and Kyle in seventh because there was a huge schism in the church which made me feel very uncomfortable. For me, it was easy to leave. I loved the music and the sense of family, but I have never jived with any church, except for the sense of belonging to something. Kyle didn’t believe in a God or Christ so what was he doing in heaven? I guess God loves all his children, no matter what road we take.

    A warm laugh filled my head.  “What are you chuckling about?” I asked.

   “None of my friends would believe me if I told them about this place.”

   “That’s probably true.”  Kyle continued to tell me that he had walked arm in arm with his step-grandfather who had been in a wheelchair since he was fourteen. Jim died of a brain tumor in his late seventies.  I could feel the love in my heart that Kyle has for his grandfather.

   “Everyone here looks younger up here, and grandpa definitely doesn’t need his wheelchair anymore,” Kyle explained.

    I arrived at the Teacher’s Workroom. I needed to concentrate. “I gotta go, talk to you later.”

    “Okay, see you later,” he chirped.   It’s been almost a year, and I still couldn’t believe how happy Kyle sounded, no more bi-polar, schizophrenic behavior, or depression. No wonder he loves it up in heaven. “Hey,” it dawned on me, “Can you see me?”

    There was only silence. Had Kyle already zapped out to check on one of his friends? Or was he not allowed to respond to that question?