86 A car accident, or being evacuated from your home due to fires can trigger a trauma that you've had in the past

     The bright fluorescent lights shot their offensive lights down upon Alan and me while we were making a salad. He was cutting up the avocado into small pieces when he commanded, “Stir the salad!”

     I replied, “Alan, I’m ripping up the lettuce, just a minute.”

     He repeated the command, but this time pushed the bowl towards me.

     “You don’t have to talk to me that way. The salad doesn’t need to be stirred immediately.” I was a little pissed.
    "You could easily drop what you're doing. I just want to see how much more avocado I still need to cut," Alan said, giving me a judgmental look.
     I picked up the spoon and started stirring. I was still steaming a bit, but I was proud of myself because I didn't make any judgmental statements.

     A few days later, I realized what had happened.  Both of us were reacting in our own way to the fires that had flared up in nearby Malibu, and Calabasas. We had been evacuated for a few days, which left us unfocused and worried about the loss that might occur: that someone might get hurt, or even worse die, or an animal might not be able to escape or we might lose our home, or our friends might lose theirs. And in the back of our minds, we were scared that the fires might wipe out all of Malibu like the Woolsey fire had destroyed an entire town and had killed innocent people.

 

    Catastrophes might dredge up previous traumas for you, or a loved one, and you aren’t aware of it until after you’ve bitten the head off of someone you love or you become depressed or start drinking a bit too much to take the edge off.  I tend to react to trauma internally, which makes me a bit moody, Alan's external; he reacts.

    Any type of catastrophe, a fire, earthquake, or a horrible car accident might kick up old memories. Your body might remember when you moved around every year to a new school, or you had lost a beloved animal to a hit and run. Or maybe your mother was in a horrible accident, and you almost lost her.  Yes, other traumas get kicked up again, even though you haven't been near a fire. If someone pulls out in front of you, don’t lose it, and start cussing at them or giving them the finger, a honk of the horn will tell them you're there.

    I had a few flashbacks of traumas I had experienced after I had returned to my home; luckily, I was able to go to my therapist to release them through EMDR. But what if you can't go to a therapist right away, so you're reacting? (Blog #4 explains EMDR and other techniques a therapist might use. Keep an open mind and find the one that best technique that works for you.)

A few techniques that you can try at home if you start reacting to a memory:  Tap or rub your right leg while you're remembering your trauma while noticing the texture of them. Continue tapping/rubbing- right,  left,  right, left until you feel better while breathing slowly. While doing this technique, take a deep breath in through your nose and expel the air forcefully through your mouth a few times until you feel like you are yourself again. This is called Dragon Breathe.  

   Another technique called Havening is to cross your arms and rub up and down on your upper arms at the same time while using the Dragon Breathe until you have calmed down. Or rub your hands horizontally.  This calms your nervous system down.
   You are taking that reaction/memory from the right side of the brain, which is the emotional/reaction side of the brain and switching it to the left, the logical side. Our body does not realize that the trauma doesn't exist anymore, so it's necessary to release this emotion.
    Take care of yourself. Please be kind to yourself and others. And if you are still reacting or feel depressed, call a professional for help.

85 Many of us aren't Prepared for a Disaster if it hits our area - Food, Important Papers, First-Aid Supplies

   Often times it takes a disaster to force us to get busy and put a list together of supplies needed for a fire, earthquake, hurricane, or flood and buy them.  Have you thought about it? What would you take?  What’s important to you? Take a day and discuss it with your family, then research the necessary items. I've included quite a bit here, but if your kids are old enough, include them in this conversation and write the ideas down. Then read this blog and do further research.

When we were first evacuated in the late ’80s due to a fire, our son who was about three, didn’t bring his favorite toys, he brought the container of toothpicks. And my husband, who was the only one home when told to evacuate took his two guitars even though I had told him a day ahead of time to get all our photo albums. He said, “I don’t remember you telling me that?  Funny, huh? Well, I didn’t think so at first. But this is what happens to our brain when we are under stress, we can’t think.  That’s why a list needs to be made and taped inside a kitchen cabinet, and everyone in the house needs to know where it is. Where is the meeting place going to be? Obviously, if the fire or flood or even an earthquake happens, get your butt out pronto!

  Your Most Important Papers

     Whether you live in a hurricane state, high fire area, flood state, or an earthquake state, you should have your important papers nearby. If a flood or fire destroys your home, you could spend months trying to figure out where t to find the essential documents you need. And when we are stressed, we tend to forget things. Get all papers important copied and placed in a safe fireproof or waterproof container. 

Here are a few links that could be helpful, 

https://brimstonefireprotection.com/collections/all

https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=fireproof+and+waterproof+bag&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=220255779083&hvpos=1t3&hvnetw=g&

Some suggestions:

List of personal contacts

Passports

Deed to the house

Proof of insurance (health, fire, flood, house, earthquake, etc.) 
Medical records or at least medical I.D. numbers

Social security cards.

   Since we are in a digital age, take a picture of everything above, and have another copy of everything in a portable case.   You can use Dropbox or the Cloud in which these photos can be saved or use a memory stick that you carry around or have in the car. Make sure everything is up to date, including your insurance. If your house has gone up in value, maybe you should raise your insurance coverage. Find out what hazards your area faces, and make sure you’re protected against them. Just because you have fire insurance doesn’t mean it covers for floods.

Basic Items for Survival 

FOOD: You need at least a three-day supply of non-perishables for each person. I write the date I bought the item in permanent marker on the top. (I use all items within two years and that includes the water.  And then I replenish everything.) Don’t forget the can opener. Pack protein bars, jerky, dried fruit, trail mix, cereal bars, some candy as long as it won’t melt. Buy a large plastic storage container to keep it away from the pests.

Water: Have on hand at least a gallon of water per person. This is for drinking and washing. Don’t forget to add additional water if you have pets.

https://www.amazon.com/Water-Storage-System-Shelf-Gallon/dp

Battery- operated radio:  Target, Wallmart, Red Cross, etc.; should have these available. Receiving info on the cell may not work if satellites not working or in our case, in 2019, the electric company turned off the electricity due to a fire which was miles away, so cells didn't work, so I'm paying extra for a landline. Give yourself options.

Flashlights/ batteries :    (If you have experienced a natural disaster, you will have no idea if you have a gas leak. Be safe.) The best thing is to have a few flashlights upstairs and downstairs and in the garage. Store extra batteries in the freezer, they’ll last a long time.  L.E.D. flashlights are the best as they are very bright.

First-Aid Supplies:

    Two pairs of sterile gloves                                                                          

    Adhesive bandages and sterile dressings

    Soap or another cleanser

    Antibiotic towelettes and ointment

    Burn ointment

    Eyewash

    Thermometer

    Scissors

    Tweezers

    Petroleum jelly

    Aspirin or non-aspirin pain reliever

    Stomach analgesics such as Tums, Pepto-Bismol

    Laxative

Sanitation and Hygiene Supplies:

   Tons of paper towels

    Moist towelettes

    Toilet paper

    Garbage bags

    Plastic ties

    Shampoo

    Toothpaste and toothbrush

Additional Items:

   Masks for each person if in an earthquake area

   Plastic sheeting and duct tape just in case you need to seal your makeshift shelter from airborne  

   particles that could be unhealthy.

   A whistle to signal for help

   Toys or other comfort items for kids

   Cash

   Puzzles/games

   Extra cell phone chargers

   Extra clothing

   Sleeping bags/blankets

   Fire extinguisher

   Glasses/contact lenses

  You are going to have to update your kit every so often, check expiration dates. Replace food and water.  I write dates on everything that is food and water.  I change it out every spring. In other words, pick a date that you will remember.  

  Costco online has a lot of First Aid and earthquake items, but I know there are other companies out there. Red Cross medical supply containers tend to be a little expensive.

https://www.ready.gov/build-a-kit

84 How to let a Family Member Go When They're Ready to Die.

Honor.....and let go

   One of the hardest things in life is to honor someone’s wish and give them permission to transition to the other side, in other words,  to die. Because I'm a Reiki Practioner I've had to deal with this issue a few times in regards to my clients, but it's even harder to accept when it's a family member who is telling you 'It's time.'

     I was working on my stepfather again long distance off and on for about a month when I heard a soft voice in my head say, "It's time for me to go." This time I didn’t cry like I had two years earlier with another client who said he was ready to go. "It's for the best," my stepdad said. This time I didn't think of what I wanted or my family.  I respected and honored his wishes. My mother called and told us he had reentered the hospital, so we let Kyle and Nicole, our teens, decide whether to drive back to Arizona with us again as we had just visited my parents two weekends earlier.

     My mom was surprisingly calm, but I guess losing someone was no stranger. She had lost her sister to leukemia when she was pretty young and then she lost her first child when he was two, and her first husband to a heart attack when he was in his early 30’s. Lastly, my brother had passed away with lung cancer in his early 30’s.

    I think it was my little brother, James, who suggested we enter the hospital room as couples, to share some of our special memories with Jim, our stepdad. At first, I was blinded by the diffused light pouring through the window, but slowly my eyes adjusted.  My father’s health had deteriorated so quickly, and yet still he looked completely healthy on the outside. He had an inoperable tumor on his brain. The specialist told him that he had a couple of months, and yet only a month had passed.  We let him rest for a while as our visit had tired him.

    Later that day, we decided to gather around the bed as a family. My little brother, James, suggested that we share what or how our stepdad had helped us. An excellent idea, I thought.  My brothers and I thanked him for taking care of our mom so well and being such a great stepdad.  He couldn’t talk anymore, but a crooked grin appeared on his face, and a few tears rolled onto the pillow.

   Then he did something strange. He kept pointing up to the ceiling. A couple of people looked up but found nothing unusual.  Someone asked what he was doing.  I felt a bit uncomfortable at first, but no one answered, so I broke the silence. “He’s telling us that he’s ready to go home.”  A few looked at me strangely, not so sure of my interpretation. Again, I was receiving information, I guess I was channeling or reading his mind. I really didn’t think about it at the moment. "To heaven." I continued even though I was sure a few of my family members wondered how I was privy to this info. "He told me while I was working on him long distance that it was time. He needs to know that you’re okay to let him go. He wants you to know he’s not afraid to die.” 

    I received a few bewildered looks, but each of us let Jim know that it was okay to pass to the other side. But when it came time for his son, Eric, to say something, he tightened his lips, tears rolled down his cheeks. “I can’t do that.”

    Softly, I said, “Eric, he needs to know that we’ll all be okay even if he passes to the other side.” But Eric shook his head and rushed out of the room, bumping his shoulder on the doorway on the way out.

     My brother James said in his smooth voice, “I’ll talk to him. He needs a little more time.”

     Alan laid his hand on my arm. “Tina, we have to go if we’re going to make it home tonight. I have work; you and the kids have school.” He saw the disquiet on my face. “There’s nothing you can do.” We had already stayed longer than we had planned. It’s hard to let someone go. We don’t want to lose them and are somehow comforted by seeing their physical presence.  I squeezed my dad's hand and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, dad,"   then turned to Alan and nodded in agreement.

     After about two hours on the freeway, my cell rang.  It was my little brother, James. “Eric went in and talked to his dad for about fifteen minutes, and then he called the rest of us into the room. Jim just passed a few minutes ago.”

    “Good. I was hoping Eric would let him go today.” James and I  talked about where mom was going to stay because neither of us wanted her to be alone right now and then we said our goodbyes.

 HOW TO COMMUNICATE TO A  PERSON WHO HAS PASSED AWAY

    We can’t stand that a loved one won’t be there for us when we need a shoulder to cry on, so it’s scary to let a loved one go.  But once the person passes, you can still talk to them if you are open to it. Take some nice deep breaths to slow your vibrations down and call your loved ones spirit in. It might take a little while at first. Be patient. Sometimes you might hear their voice, or see a hummingbird fly by, (a favorite bird of my mother’s). Be observant. Once you wake up in the morning, try and remember your dreams because many times, someone who has passed will come in during your Dreamtime. Kyle came into Alan's dream Blog #46. Or their favorite song might play on the radio. I have a relationship still with my mom, my stepdad, Kyle, and my brother, Alex. But remember, don't be selfish and take up too much of their time, as they do have another life up in heaven.

83 Have you ever envisioned yourself as an owl to see better in the dark, or a jaguar

                                                       FROM MY JOURNAL                             September 9, 2010   
  

     Before we could head out to our other place in northern Cal., we still had a drug meeting up in Topanga to facilitate. It was our first meeting. I was in hopes that it would start an anti-drug program in Topanga. After we lost Kyle to heroin, we thought that we might be able to help other Topangans who were dealing with family members that are struggling with drugs.  I was still dazed and worried about what to say to the reporters and photographers from the Topanga Messenger, our local newspaper, and to the fifty people who showed up. We shared our painful stories, and many shared their experiences with their loved one's entanglement with various drugs.  It was a weeknight, and I was exhausted from a full day of teaching.  I kept thinking when is this meeting going to be over, so we can drive to our slice of heaven.

     Finally, we were on the road driving the long, mind-numbing seven-hour drive to our new woodsy house. This time, because it was so late, we decided to only drive halfway that evening. Alan had already driven the first two hours. “Can you wipe the dog slop from your side of the window?” My husband grumbled. “I can barely see out the side mirror. I don’t understand why every time I slow down or stop, Topper stands up on your lap to look out as if he was the Captain of this ship. Can’t you hold him down?
   Westies are always curious

    Alan sounded a bit grumpy I was sure because of the meeting. “No, he’s just curious.” I spat on my long sleeve shirt and rubbed the nose snot off the window that our West Highland Terrier had left. Alan pulled over to a gas station and filled up with gas. Then the three of us did our business.

     Once I slid into the car, I shifted all the levers on the seat so I could reach the pedals. Alan’s Ford Escape now seemed like a massive ship to me, especially since I was currently driving a Mini-Cooper. I was tired. Since the school budget was cut, some of my classes have over forty students, and our school had voted that we’d teach an additional course. I’m zapped even more these days, but I guess that’s what depression does.  All I wanted was just to be closer to our destination before we check in to a hotel.  A vision of an eagle came into my mind's eye, so I decided to try something which I had done a couple of times when I was a kid.

       Alan’s eyes were already closed for a nap. “Tina, slow down! You’re driving too fast!” my husband barked.

      “Don’t worry, I have a technique,” I said smoothly.

      “What is it?” 

      “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.” A running joke we have between us.

      Alan laughed, “Oh, in other words, it’s your witch stuff.” He sat up straight and looked at me. “Go ahead, tell me.”

     Still, I was apprehensive about sharing.

     “Remember,  I’m now a believer in your Reiki Healing.” He tried to reassure me.

     “Yea, only after you experienced how it could help you,” I teased. “Okay,” I paused, still unsure about sharing. “ I envision myself as a beautiful eagle with a pure white head and neck, a light brown body with the last two inches of my wing feathers also dipped in white, flying over the freeway. I feel like there’s an invisible veil over me, protecting our car from any radar detector. "   I chuckled. "This so weird.”  

     Alan scooted back down in his seat and closed his eyes without making a sound. I was positive his tongue was bleeding from biting it so hard. Feeling the cool breeze under my extended wings, I propelled myself even higher.  I chuckled to myself.

     At first, I tried to focus on a full view of what was on either side of the freeway, but I was afraid that if all my energy wasn’t focused on ‘being the eagle’ our car was going to be detected.  I don’t know where that feeling came from, but I followed my instincts.

     “You are so weird, but that’s what I love about you,” he mumbled.

 Beautiful Golden Eagle

     I flapped a few more times than glided, hovering over the highway for quite some time. Now the black sky seemed to lighten, which permitted me to easily see the span of two freeways. Or maybe because I was an eagle, my vision had improved. My heartbeat increased; this was so unbelievably cool.  I enjoyed the freedom I had never experienced in my entire life, at least in this life. It was absolutely exhilarating.

     I remember when I was in third grade, and we lived in Florida, the neighborhood kids, my brothers and I were outside playing hide-in-go-seek when I became frustrated because I could barely see in the tar-like darkness. When all of a sudden, a thought popped into my head, and without questioning it,  I allowed myself to morph into an owl to borrow his eyesight. I wasn't shocked that I could see everything clearly.  Another time I remember borrowing this magic when I was about to compete in a race at school. I listened to my steady quick breath and saw myself as a beautiful black jaguar. I won a second-place ribbon running against all the sixth graders in my school.

      I never wondered as a child where I had learned this technique, but once I had taken some Shaman workshops, I knew what  I had done.  I had journeyed.  I often wondered if my unconscious mind or cells had remembered a previous life because I am 16th Cherokee Indian.

     “There’s a cop two hundred feet away, slow down!”  Alan commanded.  My eyes followed his pointed finger, and I recognized a black and white car parked on the dirt medium, separating the freeways.

      I don’t know why I was so confident, “Don’t worry.  We’re okay.  He’s not going to see us.” 

We passed the police car smoothly while going 85 mph in a 60 mph zone.

      “God d_ _ _!  How did you do that?”(Alan rarely cusses.)

      “Stop condemning God.”

       “I mean, darn.” He looked at me, surprised, “I don’t get it. I always get tickets when I speed.”

        Smiling, I still maintained focus while the winds whispered through my wings.

    Years later I learned in a Shaman workshop that people who do this technique need to be very careful as they make their car invisible to everyone so a nearby vehicle could drive into your lane thereby hitting you. That scared me a bit.