67 - If you notice a cold shoulder from a friend or a spouse

    When I was a kid, and I’d receive the cold shoulder, like many kids, I’d walk around feeling hurt.  Imagined reasons would float around in my head, making me feel even more insecure.  Unconfident, I was unable to ask the individual why she or he was ignoring me.

   As an adult, I wasn’t much better. A co-worker would give me this bizarre look which made me feel extremely uncomfortable when I passed by her in the hallway. It happened a few times, so I was sure I didn't imagine it.  And then one day, (I was in my mid-fifties) I decided to stop being that scared little girl. When I saw my co-worker after school, I walked right up to her and said, “I don’t know what’s going on, have I said something to make you upset because every time I walk by you, you give me this strange look?” 

   Her eyes widened in surprise and shared that she’s been preoccupied with work so she couldn’t slow herself down to say, “Hi!.” She was very embarrassed and apologized.  We laughed and talked about work for a little while. After that, she was very conscientious in saying, “Hi!” whenever she saw me. I was very proud of myself.

   If you notice a cold shoulder from a friend, an acquaintance, or a family member, take the initiative, ask if you said or did something wrong.  Some of my friends have said, “Naw, it’s okay. I don’t care if they’re mad at me.”

   But then I’m honest, I reply, “Then you wouldn’t have mentioned anything to me if it wasn’t bothering you.”

   Things don’t always return the way they were if you decide to play the waiting game.  You walk around wondering when the individual is going to get the nerve to say, “I’m pissed at you.”   

    And if you’re the person who’s steaming, talk to the individual who made you mad. The longer you wait, the pot will boileth over.  Be honest. Tell her what you heard or saw that made you upset. No judging. Then forgive. Forget. Move on.  
 
       Get the guts and talk

Some guidelines to help your children and you :       

    If you notice your child is upset, ask him what’s going on. Sometimes it could be that he's getting the cold shoulder from a friend because his calls keep going to voicemail, his messages and texts ignored. This is just as painful as someone not talking to them in person.

1.   Playback in your head the previous day. Maybe you said something hurtful or said something that your friend might have misinterpreted.  Is an apology in order?

2.   Encourage yourself to talk to the individual. If you don’t, you’ll worry more about all the things that could have happened, and that will make him/her even more upset.

3.  Don’t take the unreturned text or call personally.  Usually, the behavior has nothing to do with you. Maybe your friend needs a little space. Then once he/she is ready to share, text or call will be returned.

4. Remember, this is between you and your friend.  Many times we want to chat about a problem and get other’s views, but this might be creating other problems by sharing. So think twice before sharing. It might make you feel better, but it could get back to the individual and make them angrier.

5. Once you try to talk to your friend or family member about the cold shoulder you’ve been feeling,  let it go.  At least, by reaching out, you’ve let your friend know that you’re there when he/she is ready to talk.

6. So now what?  Well, it doesn’t mean you can’t text or heaven forbid, call and ask her/him to go bowling.  Two things could happen while you’re with each other: one, whatever did happen could melt away because you’re busy having fun together. Or two, the friend will feel comfortable enough to share what ticked him or her off.  

7.  However, if the friend has no time for you and two weeks have passed, write a letter. As a teacher when I couldn’t get a straight answer from a student about why he/she seemed sad or angry, I would finally write a letter.  I always received a letter back, and if I was able to help, I did.

8.   But remember, everyone, processes their anger or pain differently.  Some people hang onto it for a while others immediately have to get it off their chest.  Don’t expect your family or friends to be like you. If your call or letter is ignored, be patient and trust that your friend will open up to you when he/she is ready.

66 - A poignant message from Archangel Michael

   I had picked up one of those health magazines at Pine Street Circle up here in Topanga which advertises the various types of healing workshops and healers in the Los Angeles area.  I was intrigued by an advertisement about an intuitive/ psychic class. I called my friend, Nadine, to see if she wanted to go with me to the workshop and she said that she’d love to.

   We arrived at the same time and walked into the building, but no one was there for the class. We learned that I had written the wrong date down in my calendar. I haven’t done something like that for a long time. I was a bit ticked off at myself for getting the date wrong. I knew Nadine was very busy, so for her to actually have that Saturday free to spend time with me was very special. She is the total opposite of me, always relaxed and in control.  Either that or she is an excellent actress. We decided to go to the neighboring Starbucks to talk, something we rarely have time for.

   Nadine is such a diminutive woman that I often wondered if I blew hard, she would float into the air.  Nadine asked if I had tried again to get a hold of Nicole, my daughter, again.  I shook my head no. “You need to try and reach her.” Her voice was intense, unusual for her. “Have you tried Facebook?” She asked before she took a sip of her tea.

  I squeezed my tea bag, placed it on my napkin and then took a sip of green tea. “Ouch!” I almost dropped my cup. Nancy asked if I was okay and I verified that I was.  I reminded her that I had already tried to get in touch with my daughter before Kyle’s memorial, but she had blocked me. “She needs time to figure out the mess from these last few years and to find out who she is. I think she walked around in a daze since her teens.”

    “Just tell your daughter that you love her and that you’d love to take her out to lunch. Tell her the past is the past, and you guys can only talk about the present if that’s what she wants.” Nadine said. “Appeal to her as a mother. You two used to be so close.” Her tears were on the verge of breaking through.

   “Nadine, she’s not a mother, she’s not going to understand that pain. She will sometime, I feel it in my heart but not now.” As we drank our beverage in the cool shadows of the building, I mulled over what I would say to her at our rendezvous, knowing I would have to fight back the tears of joy.  But most of all, I will have to watch what I would say so I wouldn’t upset her.

   An iron fist squeezed my heart, am I going to be rejected again?  I didn’t know if I could handle that another time. I had to seriously think about if I should try and get in touch with her again.

  The following weekend I was able to take the Intuitive/Psyche Workshop at Imagine Center in Encino, but Nadine couldn’t make it.  There were seven of us. The teacher, Taryn,  seemed to have a white glow around her head. Was she an angel herself, I wondered, or was her vibrations so high, that her energy was similar to an angel’s?  All of this spiritual stuff was new to me. 
   Her soft high voice taught us that everyone has Archangels that help them and not to be afraid to ask for help.  Taryn guided us through a meditation which slowed the energy of our body down and at the same time, raised our vibrations. “Now, ask your archangel to come and introduce himself or herself. Then ask your angel any question,” Taryn guided.

   I wondered, Who is my Archangel? And the word Michael came through. I had forgotten entirely that two years earlier when I had taken Theta Training and had learned it was Archangel Michael. On a few occasions, I had worked with him while practicing Reiki healing on a couple of clients, but with all the trauma in my house, had forgotten about him.  For the first time, I asked the obvious mom question, When is Nicole coming home? I didn’t mean physically, but I meant reconnecting with us.
 Archangel Michael

    A nice low, calm male voice responded, Be patient.

    I know that, but when is Nicole going to call or …

   Be patient, cut my last few words off. Michael’s voice was louder, firmer and yet still loving.  I wasn’t upset; I just thought to myself, Okay. This is the hardest thing asked of me, to be patient. I just want to hear my daughter’s sweet voice and make sure she’s all right.   And I want to apologize for the plethora of mistakes that I had made.

   A week after I had taken the class, I had just finished shopping at Ralph’s when I bumped into a neighbor in the parking lot. He knew about our son passing away. Bob encouraged me to send an e-mail to Nicole. I told him a little bit about my attempts at communicating with her. He said, “Tina, just tell her you to love her and want to talk to her.” I further explained the chaos in our house especially since Kyle had started driving. He replied, “The past is the past, both of you have to let go of it. Tell her that.”

   “Okay, I’ll think about it.” The conversation again made me wonder if God was telling me it’s time. My mother’s heart was aching to hear from her. I decided I was going to send her a message on FACEBOOK.  I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to say without making her upset.  I decided to wait a few days so I could think about what I would write. That night I tossed and turned for about an hour phrases, apologies and memories kept floating in before I finally fell asleep.

   That morning I woke up after having a vivid dream. I used to dream all the time, and unlike many people, I remembered them.  But in the last few years, my life had become so tumultuous I never remembered one single dream. However, that morning I was astonished because I recalled my dream, and I was even more astonished about what it pertained to.

   Suspended in midair, was the new Dell computer that Alan had bought me for Christmas. The computer not only was three times its normal size, but it floated in this beautiful azure sky with light puffy little clouds, dotting the sky.  I seemed to be floating above it, looking down. I was shocked to see two shoeprints on top of the lid. Dusty rays of dirt-spattered away from the edges of the enormous soles. There were no heel marks, nor toe marks. It seemed as if someone had jumped on my computer from above without breaking it.  It was so weird.

     Okay, that was it. I chuckled to myself as I dressed for school. Alright, Michael, I get it. I’m not that stupid, stubborn maybe, but not stupid. I’ll do as you say, I’ll be patient, I said to myself.  He had left such a poignant message.  No matter how hard it is for my maternal being, I have to wait for a sign that Nicole is ready. I will appease myself by talking to her through my stories, poems, and journals for now.  But when will she be ready? Or is she too afraid to get in touch, remembering her mother who freaked out about everything and was unable to handle much of anything?  Stop!  I can’t worry. I have to trust Michael. I’ll be told when the time is right.

     Some people might have been sad or not heeded a message like this, but I felt relief. The pressure lifted from my shoulders. I accepted that our daughter needs time away to heal. Maybe, also, it will give Alan, and I time to heal individually and as a couple. I know that when she’s ready, I will receive a sign.

65 - A few suggestions to help adults listen to their children and partner so they won't close down

    Sometimes parents trivialize the important things in their kids’ lives, but that makes them feel misunderstood.  Ultimately, your children will stop sharing anything with you. When your kids talk to you, don’t offer advice, belittle their friends or try to minimize their worries. Just listen and sympathize.

   If you’re busy and your child or spouse wants to talk to you, set a time when you can talk or ask if it’s essential and then rearrange your schedule. Learning to listen effectively builds strong relationships and teaches respect.  A child who is listened to learns how to listen.

    Listening to your child's perspective will teach you a lot. Kids are smarter than most grown-ups think, and they generally know what they need or should have done. Be attentive to what your kids have to say, and they will teach you how to raise them. That is very hard to do at times because our fear takes over, so we listen to that fear instead of our children or our heart.

   Sometimes we are just as guilty in not listening with our full attention to our spouse, or we might trivialize an incident that she/he is trying to share.  You have to fight the urge as it’s important to listen or he/she wouldn’t be sharing.

 

 It's important to learn to listen

How to be an active listener to your children(some of these steps are perfect also for big people):

1. Listen  -  No reacting! Just listen, shut down your internal dialogue.  No giving advice or making judgments. Count backward from 30 to 0 if you are starting to react.  A parent that always reacts equals a child that won’t share.  Remember, kids are kids so sometimes they just blurt out that they got mad at Eddie and stuffed him into a trashcan.  After he’s finished sharing, ask him what he thinks he should have done instead and what he thinks he should tell the boy the next day he sees him. (apologize)

2.  Reflect - Active listening means you restate what the individual has told you. No, you don’t have to repeat everything, just paraphrase some major points. This verifies that you were listening.

3.  Show that you’re listening - Nod your head, or say, “I understand,” or “That must have hurt your feelings.” (Don’t fold arms, this is a block.)

4.  Make eye contact – important to do at least 50% of the time while the other person talks.

5.   Do not interrupt while the other person is speaking. Do not prepare your reply while the other person speaks; the last sentence or two that he says may change the meaning of what he had said earlier.

6.  Don’t just listen to the words, watch your child’s nonverbal behavior as that might give you undertones of what really is happening or has happened. Watch for facial expressions, the tone of voice and any other physical actions that possibly could tell you more than the words.

7.  Don’t ask questions until the person is finished talking.  Afterward, ask questions to clarify what has been said. Stay away from the yes/no questions as that does not encourage conversation.

8.  Fight changing the subject because it will seem like you aren’t interested in what your child is sharing.

    Listening is a skill that takes a while for many of us to develop, and yet it’s one we will use throughout our whole life. Teach your spouse and your children how to listen. Place a photocopy of How to Communicate on the refrigerator.  When you break one of the rules, apologize and explain what you did incorrectly and what you should have done. Alan and I grew up in the 50’s.  I can guarantee you that we were taught to bite the bullet and be tough. Rarely, were we encouraged to share our feelings.

64 - Is there life in the heavens?

                                                  Kyle in Scotland on a school tour. He was
                                                    always trying to make people laugh.

     In Sunday school I learned there's a heaven and that all God’s children came from heaven, but I don’t remember any pastors teaching that there is actual life in heaven after we die, and I don’t mean once there is the great rapture.  I had a few experiences, which made me wonder if there was life in heaven. Maybe, not the exact life as we know it here on earth. But after Kyle passed, and my mother and stepfather, I have no doubt in my mind that there is a gorgeous, peaceful place way up there in the heavens where spirits live a tranquil existence.      

   I remember at age 5 or 6; I was furious with my dad for yelling for who knows what. All I wanted to do was escape from his anger. When my brothers and I were outside playing, I ran up the hill behind our apartment complex in Wiesbaden, Germany.  I looked up at the clear blue sky, and through tears, I said, “I want to go back home.”  My heart thumped a few times against my chest. It actually hurt. I felt so lonely and again had this strange feeling that I didn’t belong on this planet.  I don’t know why this memory stayed with me my whole life. But  I never wondered why I said something so strange.  All I knew is that I wanted to return to heaven.  Isn’t that strange?  

   Then years later, Nicole, our daughter, was about two when one day she started vehemently correcting us. “No, no, call me Crystal.”  
   Alan and I cracked up. I told Alan that I wondered where this all of a sudden came from. I asked at her daycare if there was someone there called ‘Crystal,’ but that was a, ‘No.’   Where the heck had she heard that name?
   And then I remembered my experience when I was a little girl, feeling like I had lived up in heaven before. I told Alan maybe she remembers her name from a previous life, and he said, "I don't think so."   I suggested to the whole family that we call her Crystal, so we did, when we remembered.       Nicole wouldn’t get super mad when we’d forget, but that little girl was insistent! I think that lasted not quite a year and then she either got tired of correcting us, or she finally accepted that her new name was Nicole.

   But often after Kyle passed away, I would look up at the sky, especially at the moon and wish I was home again. Weird, huh?  

    Here’s a journal entry from 2010.  Kyle finally trusted that I’d be okay without him staying earthbound, so he had fully crossed over. He was now up in heaven.  I learned that the energy up in heaven runs much faster, so Kyle had to learn to slow his energy down so he could talk to me. (Sometimes you might hear a buzzing in your ear after someone close passes to the other side. Tell him/her to slow down so you can understand what he or she is trying to say.)

JOURNAL:  November 24, 2010

   Sometimes I ask Kyle what he’s been up to and one day he tells me, “Today, I’m learning about compassion.” Sunday seems to be a day that he’s really occupied because I have a difficult time reaching him. He says he’s able to go to all these different types of teaching where he learns spiritual lessons. I reminded him that he hated going to Sunday school when he was on the earth, and he reminded me, “I’m not on earth anymore.”  Usually, by the evening, he’s easier to reach.

   About a month ago, Kyle came to me so excited, “Mommyyouwere…………..”

  “Kyle, Kyle, you have to slow down, I can’t understand you.” This has been common the last few months since he crossed over, he speaks too quickly.

   “Mom, you were right. There’s a heaven! It’s so gorgeous here. I’ve met Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Teresa. (I don’t even think he’d ever heard of Mother Teresa.) You wouldn’t believe all the people.  I’ve talked to" He sounded so excited.  "I get to take workshops and learn lessons. It’s so peaceful here.”

   He had problems believing there was a God once he hit his late teens and now he’s listening to and meeting all these fantastic spiritual teachers. I’m so happy for him.
   He even told me that his Grandpa Boivin met him and they would go on long walks together for the first few months. He's met a few of our family members up there, including a dear friend of his that had committed suicide. 

   First, when Kyle shared some of his heavenly experiences, I was surprised that there was life up in the heavens. Honestly, I never thought about it. Yes, I remember some of the verses:  John 11:25 -

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he dies, yet shall he live.  Or John 3:16 - “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.   There are so many verses, but I thought our soul just floated around happily in heaven.

      But Kyle proved to me that there really is a peaceful, gorgeous spiritual home way up in the heavens, and that made me feel good, but most of all, I stopped being afraid of death.  

    About a year after his death, I asked him what he does up there, and he told me that he helps people who have passed away suddenly: people who were in a car crash, or shot, or had drug or alcohol incidents. I guess that makes sense since he died of an overdose. He must have been baffled about where he was and worried about how his death would affect his friends and us since it was so sudden.  He shared that he teaches them how to accept where they were.  

63 - Should kids be assigned chores and get paid for them?

  You’d think since I was raised as an Air Force brat I’d be consistent and strict with making our kids do their chores, but I wasn’t. And once they entered high school, I was worse about being the enforcer. Now Kyle had wrestling practice, and Nicole had drama rehearsals usually almost every day so we’d arrive home by 6 pm. And since Nicole was taking AP classes (college level), she had tons of homework. And Kyle still had a little difficulty with essay writing. Therefore, it took him longer to get his homework done.  I felt sorry for them because they had little 'me' time, so I rarely pestered them to help out.
   I admit, I was overwhelmed with teaching and directing drama festivals and two shows a year, so I think this didn’t help me to be consistent.  Yes, Alan fought me on the need to make them do chores, but again he lost. I should have let him handle it. (By the time Kyle reached 7th or 8th grade, I had started wearing the pants in the house. I was the teacher; I knew what was best. Ha!)  I wish I would have been better about listening to Alan and known how to work together. A counselor sure would have been able to help us.
     I learned that many parents of my generation wanted to make their child’s lives easier because ours was so hard (we thought) by not forcing their children to clean the house, cook dinner or mow the lawn, etc.;   But these chores help children feel competent. Whether they're making their bed or they're sweeping the floor, helping out around the house gives them a sense of accomplishment. Also, it helps them feel a part of the family. (Many European families cook together. Just think a perfect place to talk about life, school, and concerns.)
   Researchers have found that children who were given chores became more independent adults. And kids who do tasks learn responsibility and gain essential life skills that will serve them well throughout their lives.  Besides, having chores teaches also them how to manage their time which is a crucial life skill to have.

Make a checklist of duties

    I gave our kids an allowance. (Yes, even when they didn’t do their chores. Boy, was I bad.)  I had them place a certain percentage of it in their savings account.  Once they were in 5th or 6th grade, I upped their allowance so they could learn some money management skills. When they wanted to buy something special, they paid for half of the item, and then we paid for the rest. Our kids also paid for going out to the movies, lunch with a friend, etc.

 Some helpful suggestions that I learned after doing some research on the subject:

   Their allowance must be tied to their chores. This will make them the connect that work equals income. If they don’t do their job (Write down the chores. Divide them up between kids if need be) they don’t get paid.  However, do not withhold their money if they misbehave. This sets a dangerous precedent. Now your child knows that if they want to come home late, the consequence will be no allowance and so he/she will be happy to forfeit the money.  Bad lesson! They cannot buy their way out of trouble. Yes, I know the upper class does it all too often, but it’ not ethical.  No matter how your heartstrings ping because you feel sorry for your child, you must be consistent and follow the guidelines you’ve set up for them. If married, work together on this.
    A suggested weekly allowance made by financial pros seems surprisingly high, but you decide based on your budget. They suggest that the allowance should match your child’s age. In other words, if your child is seven, then he would receive seven dollars per week, your 12-year old would be given twelve dollars per week, etc.  I know this might seem like you’re forking out a lot of money, but remember if your child wants to buy a toy, or your teen wants to go to a movie, they have to pay for it. We did this. Our son complained at first about spending his own money, but I explained that this is how it is in the real world. (See we did some things right.)
    If you can’t give this much of an allowance, figure out how much you can afford. But if possible, start low and raise the allowance every few years. Try to pay them the same day you get paid; then there’s a consistency.
   And when your child’s money is gone, it’s gone. Do not give him/her advances. This will teach your child terrible habits: You know like borrowing from others, taking small loans out from banks and so on. They will learn quickly how to budget for what they want, a lesson much of society hasn’t learned.
    Teach your children to save. Help your kids set up bank accounts and make sure they save a portion of their allowance for the future. Saving is an important habit that should be encouraged as early as possible. Whether it’s toward a down-payment on your child’s first car, or a college savings fund, it’s crucial that some significant portion of the weekly allowance be set aside for the future. Again, this is a life lesson you are teaching them. Have you heard of the 50/30/20 rule?  For adults, at least 20% of your income should go towards savings, 50% (maximum) should go towards necessities, and 30% should go towards discretionary items.  Maybe, you can juggle the percentages around a bit, so your kids are following it.
   Also, if you go to church, you might want to teach your child to put aside some money for tithes.  Or have each child pick a charity in which they are interested in and save money to donate at least twice a year. I wish I would have had my children do this. It teaches them compassion for others.
   Digital loan apps supposedly help kids manage money, but it also teaches kids how to borrow money from their parents.  Sorry, I don’t know if this is something a child should learn quite yet. That’s the problem with many adults now; they overspend, borrow too much and then file for bankruptcy. (800,000 people in 2016 filed for bankruptcy. I couldn’t find last year’s statistics.) 
   Maybe if your child wants something big, like an electric scooter, write up a contract and figure out a low-interest rate. (That is reality) Yes, both parents sign the contract, and the child signs it. Then once you pay him/ her full allowance, hold out the other hand, so he/she pays the amount agreed upon for the scooter until it's fully paid. (We did this with Kyle.)


Great site which breaks down suggested chores for each age group:

https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-importance-of-chores-for-kids-1095018


Reference site:

https://credit.org/2017/05/08/five-tips-for-kids-allowance/?gclid=CjwKCAjwg_fZBRAoEiwAppvp-bTv0EpAJwemZws1ZnCMSqwV6gKEuZJ9ZNHqHpt7TwM-8-UpG1U_IhoClNMQAvD_BwE

62 - A natural healing club in the schools.... How Reiki helped heal a student's mother....

    A couple of the students had seen me use Reiki between classes on a few students, and teachers, so they kept bugging me to teach them.  Hence,  during the last few minutes of class or before a vacation when their energy bounced around the room like a racquetball, I’d teach them how to place a protective wall around themselves so they wouldn’t pull in other people’s negative energy. Or I'd teach some basics about chakras and how to heal themselves with the first Reiki sign. They loved it and begged me to start a Healing Club.

   The following year I was asked by the head counselor who had experienced Reiki from me if I’d be willing to take over a Health Careers class.  I asked her if I could teach Reiki and she told me as long as I became certified in CPR and First Aid and taught the kids the material, and the various health careers available to them, I could teach anything else. I said, yes. 
   The kids received their CPR and First Aid Certificates and their Reiki I and II certificates, and by the second semester, those interested were bused to a neighboring senior care facility where they donated their time as part of the class.  I loved teaching the class. A few of the counselors would place their problem students in the class hoping, it would change their demeanor or rid their depression. I was ecstatic as I watched these problem students morph into happy, confident, compassionate individuals.

    Still, not all the students could fit the class into their schedule, so they bugged me to start a Healing

 Club. Even though I suspected that I wouldn’t get enough students, I still advertised the new club and was surprised when I counted 15 heads at our first meeting.  
    After about ten meetings, Johnny, the student who really fought for the club, texted me one evening.  (All students who were in my advanced theatre class had my number.) His mother, who lived in San Francisco, was in a horrible accident that night.  I asked him what happened, but he refused to tell me. Instead, he asked if he could meet me in my classroom at 7:30 am.  I told him yes and reminded him to think positive, see her well and to not be afraid.  He said he’d try.

    I nixed working out at the gym that morning afraid I would be late for our rendezvous.  Johnny strode in precisely on time. Usually, there’s a bounce to his walk, and his body exudes an abundance of positive energy but not today. I could feel the heaviness around him the moment he walked in and sat on top of a student desk.  His face drawn and half-moons shadowed underneath his eyes, screaming what type of night he had. 

    The volcano erupted.  “My mom was in a car accident in San Francisco last night and hit her head on the interior of her car.” His voice broke.  He continued to inform me that she was in a coma, had a severe concussion and she probably wouldn't make it.  He whispered, “I can’t lose my mom, Ms. B., I can’t.” He couldn’t hide the anguish in his heart no matter how tough he tried to be.  He asked me if there was anything I could do.   
 

   As if on cue, my Reiki hands started vibrating. I reached over and patted his shoulder a couple of times.  His fear grabbed my stomach.  To stay grounded, I pulled in a deep breath and placed an invisible cho-ku-ray sign on my body.  I was concerned that Johnny was expecting a miracle from me, and I was going to let him down. Then I remembered something. “Johnny, whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.”   Johnny chimed in on the last four words.  

   Students already started trickling into my classroom, so I told Johnny that I wouldn’t be able to work on his mother till lunch.  My brain raced, wondering how I could help his mother, Diana,  and then it hit me.  I pulled a bulletin notice out of my top desk drawer and filled out the form:  Healing Club, emergency meeting today, during lunch.  Please come to room 416, immediately. 
   Johnny jumped down from the desk, “That’s a good idea. Thanks, Mom.”   A few of my theatre kids insisted on calling me mom because they said they were around me more than their mother and others said I just acted like a mom.  Honest, I tried to discourage it but lost that battle. I told him not to get his hopes up too high because many of the classrooms are so loud during the Public Announcements that the students can barely hear them. Mr. Positive told me they’d be there.  I hoped he was right because I’d hate to see him disappointed if no one shows up. I asked him to send a picture of his mother to my laptop so that we’d be ready to work on her during our lunch break.

   Even though my students were quiet, I strained to understand the slurred announcement, and I was the one who wrote it.  Why didn’t I have the secretary of the club get everyone’s e-mail and phone number? I honestly never thought about it. I’ll get the numbers next club meeting. My heart did a few quick double beats as if I was standing in a baseball field about to bat for the World Series.  No one was going to be here from the Healing Club to help Johnny’s mother during lunch, no one.   Finally, I realized I was doing what I tell my students not to do, worry. I pulled in a couple of slow breaths through my nose and expelled them through the mouth. Then I told myself to trust. Next, I drew the first two Reiki signs the full length of my body which further calmed me down.

    One student from the Healing Club popped in between classes and asked me if I was okay.  I told her I was fine but that Johnny has a healing request and needs our help. Instantly, she thought something was wrong with him, but I guaranteed her that he was okay.  Well, at least, one student other than Johnny and I would be at the meeting.

     During my conference period, I placed some chairs in a circle on the stage in my theatre classroom, cleared the room and placed the Reiki signs into the room.  I was hoping to work on his mom, but I didn’t have time. I had to set up lesson plans for the next three classes.

      The morning dragged by and lunchtime finally arrived.  I asked for Archangel Raphael, Michael, John the Baptist and my animal guide, the wolf, to protect us and to help guide us during the healing.  I also asked for any of Diana’s guides to be there to help.  Three students from the club trickled in and asked what was going on, but I told them we needed to wait for Johnny.  Their eyes darted to each other with worried looks.  I gestured towards the chairs on the stage, and they sat down.  Minutes later, Johnny walked through the door, and I immediately asked if I could speak to him privately.

   I told him that I didn’t want the kids to know where his mom was hurt because they’d instantly start to heal her head instead of trusting their intuition. So Johnny only shared that she was in a car accident and that she was in the hospital in critical condition. We had to get started even though quite a few students were missing, but I was impressed that three kids even heard the announcement. Many looked up to Johnny at our school; I don’t know why. I think it was because he had an incredible positive personality and yet he had this bad boy image too.  Before we got started, there were a few raps on my window.  Lisette waved her hand outside, so Maria let her into the building. 

     I now stepped in and informed everyone that I already cleared the room and had asked various angels and guides to be present but if they wanted to ask for their guides to be here also, to do it now.  Next, I reminded the students that since Johnny’s mother isn’t present, that we needed to honor Diana’s soul by asking permission to work on her. Everyone closed their eyes. Their faces glowed as if honored to be asked to help.  Their energy had already slowed down.  After a few seconds, their eyes opened. “Did her soul approve?” I asked.  All nodded, yes.  Then I proceeded to tell them since Johnny’s mother isn’t in the room with us that I was going to have to introduce them to the long distance sign.

    A few of the kids gasped as if a cuss word had slipped from my lips.  They had been bugging me about learning this sign for a while. However, I kept putting it off because I wanted them to practice more with the first two Reiki signs.  I ripped off a large sheet of poster paper and with a thick red marker drew the long distance sign, making sure I wrote all the numbers large enough for them to read from where they were sitting. Slowly, I followed the numbers with my two fingers as I walked the students through the intricate sign.  Next, they practiced it individually for a couple of minutes. I reminded them that the debriefing would occur afterward.  I was especially intrigued to see if they felt the same energy blocks or pain in the same areas.

    I pushed the Inbox button on my laptop and scrolled down but was surprised that I couldn’t find the photo of Johnny’s mother which he insisted that he had sent.  I handed my computer to him, and he exited the program and reentered, but still nothing.  In disappointment, he shook his head, looked at the clock on the wall and pulled out his cell phone. He found the picture on his small flip  phone and passed it around, reminding the students of the time. We now had only 30 minutes left. I reminded them to trust themselves because each of them is an individual healer; therefore, they’ll be drawn to specific areas.

     Before I began healing, I chuckled quietly. My students looked more like a Sign Language Club than a Healing Club.  I felt immensely proud, their focus unbelievable.  No jokes.  No more nervous giggles like previous meetings.  They knew what they had to do, and they knew we had a limited time to do it in. 

    Five minutes before the lunch bell rang, I broke the silence; I asked them to end the treatment so we could have a few moments to share. I watched as they placed the abundance sign over Diana ’s body and then cut their energy from hers. I reminded them not to forget to thank their spirit guides. 

   Excited, they talked over each other. “Hey, hey…respect, remember?” I nodded at Johnny. Instantly, he took the clue and called on them individually. Some students felt the pain on the left side of Diana’s head, and others felt it in the neck and shoulders or on the left side of her back.  Maria asked Johnny if his mom has a concussion and he grinned like a proud father and nodded, yes.  Danielle blurted out that she saw the dark spot on the left side of her brain and Johnny verified that was indeed where she had banged her head.  Each of the students shared what they felt on their hands: one felt intense pain, another student felt mini electrical shocks and still another felt pressure pushing up on her hands. I again reminded them that we are individuals, so our body feels things differently.

   The bell rang, Johnny thanked them, and they left to go to their classes. I swear I saw tears

forming in Johnny’s eyes. Before Johnny walked through the doorway, he said, “I want to thank

you, mom,” and threw his skinny arms around me to give me his boa constrictor hug.  I had to choke

back a couple of tears.  Again, I was scared that Johnny was expecting a miracle, but reminded myself to trust in Reiki.

   The next day I saw Johnny in the hallway between classes and asked him how his mother was doing. He looked glum and shook his head.  I smiled and reminded him: to be positive, see his mom well, hear her talking to him, and, if possible, continue treatments long distance.

   A day in a half later he called me while I was preparing dinner. Instantly, I was worried that his mother had worsened. “You’re not going to believe what happened,” he said excitedly. “My mom just checked out of the hospital.”  I almost dropped my cell. He told me that he had to tell me in person what else had happened. His voice sounded like someone who had won the lottery.

    The next morning Johnny walked into my classroom as if he had wings on his feet. He shared about his mother’s miraculous healing, but it was what she saw that blew me away. I stood there absolutely stunned. Yes, my clients have had major ailments disappear after a few treatments, including cancer. I decided to write an announcement so he .tell the other healers.  Only two of the kids showed up.

     We huddled around Johnny. I was excited about watching their reactions. Johnny told them that

yesterday during the late afternoon his mom shocked the doctors and checked out of the hospital. The students were so happy for him. One of the kids piped in, “This Reiki stuff really works.” And we all laughed and agreed.
   Then Johnny shared that wasn’t the main thing he wanted to tell them.  He paused and beamed like a baseball coach whose team just won the World Series. He told them that while his mom was in a coma, she saw a bright dazzling white beam shooting into the darkness, so she walked towards it. The student’s eyes turned into huge orbs. “However, she stopped and returned to her hospital bed when she heard my voice calling her back,” Johnny said.  (Of course, Johnny left out his comments that he had shared with me earlier  –  ‘Don’t leave me…. I need you, Mom.’   Monsieur Tough Guy didn’t want his image tainted.) The kids couldn’t believe what they heard.

      I asked them if they knew what that bright light was which was shooting from above, and the two girls shook their head, no. Johnny explained that it’s God calling the Spirit back to heaven.  He further described how his mom found herself floating above her hospital bed. He paused still questioning the plausibility of his mother’s experience. “You guys… she saw 12 luminous hands around her shooting beams of light onto her body, but she couldn’t see anything else, just hands. Then she fell into a deep sleep and woke up lying on her hospital bed. She was sure it was a dream.  But after a while, she had no pain anywhere. She knew she had been healed, but she had no idea how.   When the doctor examined her, he couldn’t believe that she was out of a coma so quickly, let alone at all because her concussion had been severe.

   Sara wanted to know if his mother told the doctor what had happened. Johnny shook his head no. Maria asked him if he had told her about our healing group. Johnny explained that his mom’s very Christian, so he was afraid she’d think the healing technique was some type of black magic.  He decided to wait a few weeks then tell her.

   Johnny took a deep breath and then looked at them. “You guys,” his voice broke, “thanks for being

there for me when I needed you.”  Their facial expressions were priceless. I think they even shocked

themselves how powerful Reiki could be, especially in a group healing.   Both girls gave him a bear hug at the same time, and Maria whisked away a few tears.

    I beamed like a contented mother hen and wished Reiki could be taught to all students. ( I've offered it to teach it to a couple of schools, but have had no response.) I’ve watched students learn to forgive not only themselves, but others, and transform into amazing, compassionate, centered teens even though they had been raped, physically or verbally abused, had had eating disorders, depression, or anger issues.   To watch my students' excited faces when working on each other was beautiful. It made them feel useful when helping each other and their families. I think also, knowing Reiki made them feel like they had some control over their lives.