86 A car accident, or being evacuated from your home due to fires can trigger a trauma that you've had in the past

     The bright fluorescent lights shot their offensive lights down upon Alan and me while we were making a salad. He was cutting up the avocado into small pieces when he commanded, “Stir the salad!”

     I replied, “Alan, I’m ripping up the lettuce, just a minute.”

     He repeated the command, but this time pushed the bowl towards me.

     “You don’t have to talk to me that way. The salad doesn’t need to be stirred immediately.” I was a little pissed.
    "You could easily drop what you're doing. I just want to see how much more avocado I still need to cut," Alan said, giving me a judgmental look.
     I picked up the spoon and started stirring. I was still steaming a bit, but I was proud of myself because I didn't make any judgmental statements.

     A few days later, I realized what had happened.  Both of us were reacting in our own way to the fires that had flared up in nearby Malibu, and Calabasas. We had been evacuated for a few days, which left us unfocused and worried about the loss that might occur: that someone might get hurt, or even worse die, or an animal might not be able to escape or we might lose our home, or our friends might lose theirs. And in the back of our minds, we were scared that the fires might wipe out all of Malibu like the Woolsey fire had destroyed an entire town and had killed innocent people.

 

    Catastrophes might dredge up previous traumas for you, or a loved one, and you aren’t aware of it until after you’ve bitten the head off of someone you love or you become depressed or start drinking a bit too much to take the edge off.  I tend to react to trauma internally, which makes me a bit moody, Alan's external; he reacts.

    Any type of catastrophe, a fire, earthquake, or a horrible car accident might kick up old memories. Your body might remember when you moved around every year to a new school, or you had lost a beloved animal to a hit and run. Or maybe your mother was in a horrible accident, and you almost lost her.  Yes, other traumas get kicked up again, even though you haven't been near a fire. If someone pulls out in front of you, don’t lose it, and start cussing at them or giving them the finger, a honk of the horn will tell them you're there.

    I had a few flashbacks of traumas I had experienced after I had returned to my home; luckily, I was able to go to my therapist to release them through EMDR. But what if you can't go to a therapist right away, so you're reacting? (Blog #4 explains EMDR and other techniques a therapist might use. Keep an open mind and find the one that best technique that works for you.)

A few techniques that you can try at home if you start reacting to a memory:  Tap or rub your right leg while you're remembering your trauma while noticing the texture of them. Continue tapping/rubbing- right,  left,  right, left until you feel better while breathing slowly. While doing this technique, take a deep breath in through your nose and expel the air forcefully through your mouth a few times until you feel like you are yourself again. This is called Dragon Breathe.  

   Another technique called Havening is to cross your arms and rub up and down on your upper arms at the same time while using the Dragon Breathe until you have calmed down. Or rub your hands horizontally.  This calms your nervous system down.
   You are taking that reaction/memory from the right side of the brain, which is the emotional/reaction side of the brain and switching it to the left, the logical side. Our body does not realize that the trauma doesn't exist anymore, so it's necessary to release this emotion.
    Take care of yourself. Please be kind to yourself and others. And if you are still reacting or feel depressed, call a professional for help.