89 There's A Huge Epidemic of Loneliness In Our Country even before COVID Hit Our Country. What Could Help Alleviate the Problem?

        Social media and texting have kept adults, children, and families communicating more, and yet actual contact is missing.  In a 2018 survey conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation, researchers claim that the United States is experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. Seniors live longer but with a lack of family support close by, and they cannot get out or have more difficulty getting out to meet others, so they stay home. Children are kept so busy with sports and other activities, they don't have time to engage in any close friendships unless the parents take the time to make sure their kids have friends over or the parents can take them over to their friend's homes so they can spend time together.

       The role of friends in America has experienced a noticeable decline. In the May 2021 'American Perspectives Survey,' Americans report having fewer close friendships than they used to. People leaned on their friends less and didn't speak to their friends as often. 

      Of course, now, due to COVID-19, there is an obvious decline in friendship worldwide. However, there are possibly other reasons for this decline. First, Americans are marrying much later and are more mobile than in the past. Second, American parents spend more time with their children than previous generations; therefore, there is less time for other types of relationships. Lastly, Americans, sadly, are working extended hours and traveling more for work, which more than likely comes at the cost of maintaining friendships, let alone building new ones. Since there has been a huge decline in churchgoing, meeting neighbors, or parents at school, more adults are making friends in the workplace.     

    Lonely people tend to have increased blood pressure, weaker immune systems, more depression, and more inflammation throughout the body. 

We've all felt lonely at one time or another, but if it's almost constant, it's not healthy.

       An emptiness poured into my life since I retired five years ago. I missed meeting my teacher friends in the foreign language department to eat lunch and share our lives with each other.  So the first three years, we started attending the Self Realization Temple off and on. Many of the sermons were very poignant and reached us more than most church services, and I liked that many spiritual leaders were honored. But something was majorly missing.  I couldn’t figure it out until my husband, and I decided to return to Woodland Hills Community Church, a church we used to attend. 
      There felt a sense of community. At W.H. Church, people came up to us and welcomed us and asked our names. The other draw is Pastor Craig. He’s vibrant and cares about each person.  (Pre Covid) At the end of the church service, I loved creating a big circle and holding hands to sing the closing song. This allowed us to again reconnect to the church family. And after church, we have coffee and munchies, which again allows us to reconnect as a family.

     A church should offer you a sense of belonging and allow you to share your gifts.  Pastor Craig learned that I was a healer, so he asked me to start a group healing night.  Ooh…. Was that his sneaky way of pulling me in?  Well, it worked. Our church is somewhat small, so to have 12 people at the first group healing evening surprised me. Then Alan, my hubby,  was asked if he’d sing at the Christmas show, which he did, and many complimented him on his gorgeous voice. This made him feel good and, of course, only reinforced his connection with the church.  In other words, get involved. This world is so big and chaotic, easy to get lost in. Sometimes parents become so busy that we forget to slow down to teach lessons of compassion, the forgiveness of self and others, etc.  

     And if you have kids, Sunday school reinforces morals, values, the need to forgive, love, and teaches ways to respect everyone.  This is something that would have possibly helped our children.  Public schools touch upon respect, but do they teach forgiveness and to love oneself and others? 

      I wish I wouldn't have been overwhelmed with teaching theatre and directing shows that the thing I decided to drop to give me more time was church. We stopped going.

      I’m not saying I’d still have a son that was alive or a daughter that actually wanted a relationship with us if we would have gone to church. But I think if anything, they would have received more lessons on values that weren’t taught in the home, and in addition, they would have hung around kids from church who also had similar values, so I guess, yea, maybe things would have been different.

     You don't need to believe in everything in the church's doctrine, but the congregation needs to honor your beliefs. Each of us is on our own spiritual journey. Find a church, mosque, temple, yoga group, Tai Chi, a meditation group, or something that you and your family feel comfortable with and make room in your life to add this experience. I think you might be pleasantly surprised. You'll make friends, and your world will become fuller. Even if you are not ready to return to going out and mixing, find something online. I know it's not as personal, but it is better than being depressed, and you can still make friends.