107 A Powerful Technique to Pull you Out of a Trauma Moment or Depression

      'Inner Child Work,' also known as 'Healing the Child Within' or 'Shadow Work', is a technique where you work with your inner child. I know it sounds a bit out there, but this technique is a powerful tool to help pull you out of a trauma moment, a time where you feel alone, depressed, or about to react angrily to a situation or after you just experienced one. 

      This technique can be done either by yourself or with a therapist to resolve the negative childhood emotions and experiences your body insists on holding onto, as well as harness the joy, innocence, and confidence that you deserve. I find this technique very useful.

What is 'inner child work'?

      All of us slip into childlike behavior every once in a while, especially if one of our buttons is pushed. Maybe you get angry because your wife prepared a special dinner, but it happens to be a similar recipe your father forced you to eat even though you hated it. Or your husband is about to go on a work-related trip, and you flashback to when your father packed his bags and never returned to the house. 

    Inner child work helps you access the child you once were, along with the experiences and emotions that the child was taught to repress. If you make an effort to listen to, communicate with, and nurture your inner child, you can discover the roots of your issues as an adult and heal them.
    If you find yourself depressed or unable to create, ask your little self what she/he needs. When I'm working on my memoir, sometimes I feel frozen, unable to use descriptive words. I realize that my little self doesn't feel safe, so I ask her what age she is and what she needs to feel safe. Sometimes it's a flower, and other times it's a fluffy bear. Then I ask her to go outside and play while I'm writing, and I see her walking outdoors with her bear. When I finish, I bring her back in. It sounds a bit weird, but it works.

What issues can inner child work help you with?

 -   childhood abuse – emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse

-    depression and anxiety

-    anger management issues

-    passive-aggressive behavior

-    low self-esteem

-    abandonment issues and borderline personality disorder (BPD)

-    emotional numbness

-    self-sabotage

-    self-criticism

-    relationship difficulties

-    codependency and powerlessness.

Inner child work might take the form of:

 - dialoguing (talking) with your inner child who might need just a stuffed bear or a BigMac

 -  journaling with your inner child's voice

 - meditating to get in touch with your inner child

 - hugging or talking to a pillow, doll, or stuffed toy that might have been your favorite when you were little. Or go out and buy a doll or stuffed animal that reminds you of one you owned when you were younger. Or pick a four-leaf clover or a unique key chain that makes you feel strong.

 - learning to 'parent' yourself (nurture and care for yourself).

 - ask a relative who has passed or ask an angel to be beside you when processing your anger or hurt so you feel safe. 

You will:

- remember repressed memories that are holding you back from a goal or that has made you react

- stop feeling numb/frozen and be able to feel again

- gain the ability to set boundaries

- feel self-compassion

- enjoy life more and have fun again

- gain self-confidence.

   Working with the inner child is not about unearthing everything your parents did 'wrong' and becoming angry with them. But it is a technique where you honor your feelings of loneliness, being misunderstood, judged, or mistreated. These emotions need to be processed, but with this comes the recognition that you are no longer that child. You have more personal power and a mature perspective. You might find that after a period of allowing yourself to feel anger and sadness towards others, you find new understanding and compassion, able to see that others are not perfect and have their own unmet needs to struggle with.

   I encourage you to work with a professional, but even I couldn't get into a therapist whenever I needed one, so I was thankful that I had a few tools to help me crawl out of my slump. I guarantee that you will feel better if you don't rush through the activity.

Further information and some excellent exercises to help you heal:

https://lonerwolf.com/inner-child-work/ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfNc8J1fYHQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yoUxv4mgFs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ziqpm0mI2EI

106 - A Funny Memory of An Incident Which Occurred When my Son was in Elementary School

      As usual, I picked Kyle, our son up from elementary school. The minute he climbed into the car and clasped himself into his car seat, he wiggled around as if his underwear was too tight.  "Kyle, what’s wrong?” I asked.

     He furrowed his eyebrows and squirmed even more. I wondered what had happened at school that made him anxious but waited patiently. My first grader fiddled with his seatbelt. “You’re going to get mad at me.” He gave a dramatic pause. “We were coloring and...and... I drew a penis on my dinosaur, so my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.”

      I lassoed that giggle down and cleared my throat. “Kyle, that’s an inappropriate thing to have drawn at school. Let’s not do that again. Okay?” A soft giggle started at the base of my throat and slowly worked its way up. Then I realized I can’t let him know that this is funny or he’s going to do it again.  I pursed my lips to suppress my laugh.

I still can't picture it, can you?

     “Okay,” he replied, still sounding upset.

      “Kyle, I’m not mad. Things like that happen sometimes. But now you know you shouldn’t draw things like that at school.” I watched as his facial muscles relaxed. But internally, I was pissed. Why did his teacher have to overreact? Kids are kids. I’m sure all he needed was his teacher to tell him that it was not okay, but she didn't have to send him to the principal’s office. I wanted to leave a message for her to call me, but I decided to wait until the following day, so I could cool down.

      At the dinner table, we were laughing about something when I decided to share Kyle’s artistic experience, thinking Alan would find it funny since he was a guy, but Alan’s face became stoic, and his voice lowered. “Kyle, you know better than that. I’m very disappointed in you.” 

      I rushed in to save him. “Alan, it was an accident.”

     “It sounds like he was trying to get attention. Don’t do that again.” Alan scooped up a spoonful of ice cream.

      “Okay.”  Kyle's eyes lowered as if he, too, were disappointed in himself.  

      “Gagi.” Nicole sang out,our three-year-old daughter interrupting the silence.  She held out her spoon, offering him a scoop of ice cream. I wonder if she was trying to lighten the mood. 

     “No, thank you, Nikki.” He had declined since he had his own sitting in front of him, untouched.
   

    I changed my mind about calling Mrs. Border, his teacher when the next day Kyle handed me a piece of paper in regards to an Open House the following week.  I decided to wait until then to talk to his teacher in person. 

     Tons of parents were in the room, but few kids. The school had asked for families to get daycare, if possible.  There was hardly a seat left in that room. Mrs. Bordier had jet black hair and her skin always looked as if she was a sun worshipper. She asked us to find our child’s folder and go ahead and sit down and look through it. After a few minutes, she stood in front of the class and shared what the kids were learning and how we could help them. Then she started walking around talking to the parents individually about the work that was in their portfolio. Some parents had to excuse themselves as they had to visit other classrooms.  I waited patiently because I wanted to talk to her about the penis incident when there were fewer people around. (Alan had stayed home to watch our kids.)

     Mrs. Bordier stood by me with this huge smile. "I'm impressed with how well Kyle is doing in class this year. “He’s matured a lot.” (She had had him as a kindergartner a few years earlier.)

      I stood up to discuss the penis problem, but she bubbled into the next sentence. “Last week I had passed out various photocopies of prehistoric animals so the students could color them, and in a few minutes, I heard an explosion of laughter and giggles. There was a circle of kids surrounding Kyle. I hurried over and took the photocopy from him. He had decided to add an appendage to his dinosaur. I didn't know what to say, so I sent him to the Principal’s office."

     “Yes, Kyle had told me.” Since I was a teacher also, I was just about to tell her what she should have done, but she continued.

     “I shouldn’t have sent him out. Instead, I should have told the class maybe that’s why dinosaurs became extinct; not all of them had a peepee. ( Honestly, I can't remember what she called it. Mrs. Bordier was much like me as a teacher. She might have said penis.) "That was a teaching moment that I let pass by because I had overreacted.”      

      I smiled, remembering how easy it was sometimes not to deal with the problem and just get the student out of the room because you’re trying to teach a lesson. “Thank you.  I know how hard it is to think on the cuff. I make plenty of mistakes in the classroom and have to go back and correct them or apologize.”  She was already a fabulous teacher in my family’s eyes. She didn't expect her young students to sit quietly while they were doing their work and often times allowed them to work with others as long as they were working. Mrs. B. accepted everyone on their individual level. And she accepted my child with his easy to frustrate personality  Admitting to her mistake only placed her higher on the rung of perfection.

     The following morning I shared with Kyle what his teacher had said and he beamed. “She already apologized to me in class.”  Well, that impressed me even more.

     That’s one of the things my high school students complained about, that teachers don’t apologize when they make a mistake. But there are so many other qualities that some teachers don't have which blow me away: They don't like kids.  How can someone choose a profession and yet not like them? It was obvious that Mrs.Bordier not only loved kids and teaching, but she was confident in herself, that when she made a mistake, she could  admit to it. She taught these kids a life lesson.

105 - Difficult to let my Son go so he could Cross Over to the Other Side, Heaven

         "Open your eyes slowly," the healer uttered.  This peaceful world cradled me, chanting for me to stay. There were no demands here: no one asking me what was for dinner, how I was doing, or me worrying about what I was going to teach the next day.  No glued-on smile, pretending I was okay. But I knew I had to face another day.  After a few seconds, I willed my eyes open, but the spotlights from a window across the room forced me to close them. Too bright...way too bright.  After a couple of seconds, I willed myself to open them. I blinked a few more times, trying to become accustomed to the light even though the sun was just beginning to set.

       I forgot most of the things the Shaman shared with me, except for lending me her horse and that I should journey with it. And then she said in a very soft, calm voice, "Tina, you need to release Kyle's soul." Something grabbed my intestines and yanked them up tightly.  At a Reiki workshop I took a month earlier, Rosemary, the teacher, had told me I had to release all of Kyle's soul, so he could advance, and if I didn't, I could become extremely ill. I thought I had already let him go. How do you let a child go, someone, you birthed and worried about so much?

      While the Shaman continued to explain the various things that I needed to do to heal, Kyle chattered away in my head, Mom, you know you have to let me go. I don't want you to get sick.

       I know, but you have to know I'll be all right. I can take care of myself, honestly. I'm doing much better. These next few days, we're going to work on letting each other go. I paid Amanda and thanked her.

 

Trusting and letting go was hard to do...

                                                         hands-letting-go | patrickjegan

      But I don't want to… I want to make sure you're not going to grieve anymore, Kyle quietly said. I could hear the confusion in his voice. Maybe like me, he was afraid that he couldn't talk to me once his spirit totally passed to the other side. I started the car and drove down the windy road as I reminded him that I was grieving less and less each month.  After of few seconds of silence, he said,  I'm happy that your relationship with dad has become stronger. There was another pause.  I have to go soon. 

     My heart skipped a couple of beats as I wasn't sure what that meant. Maybe the dolphins were calling Kyle…. (another healing I had done with this Shaman). Or was he going to disappear, and I'd never been able to talk to him again? I expelled the air I had kidnapped.  We'll do our ceremony on Sunday. Okay? It's time for both of us to totally let go.

      Yea, okay," he said.  I love dad too. I now understand why he was tough on me. He was trying to guide me to make the right decisions and consider the consequences. Also, Dad was so worried about me. I can really feel and understand that now. I wish I could have understood it then.  Again his emotions were so strong as if he really did, for the first time, comprehend what his father must have felt raising him. I wondered how he could understand his father's fear now.

      I wish you could also have, but I sadly stated that maybe you weren't supposed to learn that yet.  I'll tell your dad what you said, Okay?

     Thanks. Remember, I'm still here for you, just like all your other relatives who you're now talking to you. 

     Unconsciously, I realized I was holding on to a part of him in fear of losing communication with him.  It took me about a week until I felt strong enough to tell him it was okay for his spirit to go to the other side. I decided the ceremony would occur on June 12th, the day before our daughter's birthday in June.

     I walked into Topanga State Park and said out loud, "I totally release you, Kyle Boivin, to the heavens where you belong." Yes, I cried a little bit, and my voice shook. I was still petrified that we wouldn't communicate once he passed to the other side.  But I knew I had to let him go because I didn't want to be responsible for holding him back in his spiritual development.   

      I love you so much, mom.  For the first time, I could actually feel the emotion in his voice; he was almost in tears. During his drug days, he would often say that line, and it sounded empty and felt as if Kyle was saying it to make me think that he was alright or saying it because he felt guilty he was still using.

       "I know. I love you too,"  I whispered.       

       Mom?

       Yea, I said as I headed home.

       I love dad too. I now know why he was tough on me. He was trying to guide me to make the right decisions and think of the consequences. He was so scared of me. I can really feel and understand that now. I wish I could have understood it then.  Again his emotions were so strong as if he really did, for the first time, comprehend what his father must have felt raising him. I wondered why he could understand his father's fear now.

      I wish you could have understood your dad's fears also, but maybe you weren't supposed to learn that yet,  I sadly stated.  I'll tell him what you said, Okay?

     Thanks. Remember, I'm still here for you, just like all your other relatives who you're now talking to you. You won't forget?

      I won't ever forget, ever.    

     I learned that our son is always with me when I need to talk to him. But I also remembered as the years marched on, we had less and less to talk about because our lives were very different. Yes, he still gives me an occasional lecture, or I feel his energy pop in, or he says one word to warn me about something, but it's not like it used to be the first seven years after losing him, and that's okay.

 

 

"

     

104 Depression, Feeling Lost or Unfocused could be due to a Miscarriage or an Abortion, or even Picking up A Family Member's Moods... Technique to Release Stuck Energy

       I was drawn to take a natural healing class, Reiki I and Beyond workshop taught by Rosemary the Celtic woman, even though I  had my Reiki certificates already. After a couple hours, I lay on the massage table while a healer worked on me. Once the session was complete, I sat up in a daze,  blinking because even the dim lights were too bright. The woman who worked on me furrowed her eyebrows and stammered.  “I saw a dark spot in your stomach. You need to go to the doctor immediately because I think you have cancer.” 

     My legs dangled over the edge as I sat thinking about what she had just said. For some strange reason, I wasn't scared. I had this gut feeling. I replied, “I have a feeling it’s not cancer. But I’ll talk to the teacher during the break to see what it possibly could be.” Then we switched places, and I became her healer.

       Later that morning, I approached Rosemary and told her what the woman had said.  She didn’t answer right away. She looked as if she was listening to someone. maybe she was listening to one of her Archangels for guidance, a lesson she had taught us that morning.  “Tina, have you ever had an abortion or a miscarriage?”

      “No, I responded,” too quickly.  Then a memory flashed into my head. “Wait a minute. I was in England as a chaperone with my students when I had a hefty menstrual cycle. I was scared that I would have to go to the hospital, but then it stopped. At the time, I wondered if I had a miscarriage, but Alan, my husband, was sure it was due to the long airplane ride.”  Rosemary asked if it took me a long time to get pregnant again, and I told her 3 ½ years. I had even undergone exploratory surgery to see if something was wrong. Then we thought about adoption, but finally, I had a beautiful boy and, three years later, a gorgeous daughter.
I never knew how important it was to release & honor a fetus that chose to come 'in.'

     Rosemary said, "It’s common to have fertility problems after a miscarriage or an abortion because our body still remembers the sadness of losing the child."  I was told to do Reiki on myself to release the memory and honor the embryo for coming in for the little time it was there, and if I didn’t do this, it could turn into a benign or cancerous growth. I worked on myself a little bit, but obviously not enough. 

     Years later, I learned an excellent technique during my Constellation Healing session with Hazel Carter. I remember precisely what my goal was for that evening when she asked. "I feel stuck in writing my memoir."
     "In what way do you feel stuck?" she asked in her beautiful Irish accent. 
     "I'm confused about the order of the stories, and I can't decide which ones to include."  
      She pursed her lips and asked if I had ever lost a child. And I nodded yes.  She said, "Your body still has not fully released the sadness of losing a child. Tina, is there another child you lost?"  

     "No, I don't think so." Then a memory of me getting a sonogram popped in, and a technician said, " Looks like you're going to have twins. I remember being so scared. I honestly didn't think Alan could handle two kids of the same age at once. And then the selfish Tina jumped in, 'I'd have to quit teaching theatre.'  Those days I worried about everything. Like the first healer, Hazel shared that it was imperative that I release this memory from my body, or I could become very ill. 

A technique to honor and release the loss of a fetus or embryo (husband should do also)

1.  acknowledged that I had four children, not just two living ones
2.  light a candle for 21 days, with my husband if possible
3.  give a name to the embryo(s) Alan and I agreed upon Michael and Juliette)
4.   thank the embryo for coming in (Do this technique separately if you lost a couple fetuses
5.  apologize for not being ready to have children or frightened of having twins
6.  thank the embryo for selecting you to come in, even though it wasn't for very long
7.  I shared things about our family, the good and the bad

    The first few times I did this, I cried like a baby. I was surprised that it seemed like energy was released from my body.   Even Alan was a little choked-up.  He only did the release with me for a few days, but that was okay because my body needed to let go of the memory.

103 Sure Enough, There was a Hand in The Photo Waving, Hi

                                       My son, Kyle, waving, "Hi" to me after he died.

     

      I happily accepted a Health Careers class where the students learned C.P.R., First Aid, what types of health careers exist and I received our administration's approval to teach Reiki, a natural healing technique. Second-semester kids who were interested in health careers were placed in senior citizen homes twice a week to help out. 

      I encouraged these students to go to ‘Life Expo’  because there would be tons of free natural healing workshops and exhibits there, so a few of the kids met me at the Expo.

     Stephanie, one of my students, and I decided to have a photo taken of our  aura and then have a reading done on what the colors meant. (She had lost a sister years earlier.) I had never done this before, so I was excited. Little did we know that we would receive more than a photo of ourselves. After the grey-headed lady took my picture, she glanced at my pic and said while she was handing it to me, “Looks like you have someone on the other side who wants to say, ‘Hi.’"

    Beaming, I took the picture, knowing full well, who it was before I even looked at it. Sure enough, there was a hand behind my right shoulder, by my head. The fingers were elongated and a little blurry as if the hand was moving quickly. I chuckled, wondering if Kyle was busy somewhere else, and then realized what I was about to do and zapped in almost too late, so his hand was blurry.  Or I wondered maybe since he was a newbie up in heaven, he was still learning how to transfer his energy onto the earth, who knows. (Ha... ha… Kyle just told me it was the later. He told me later that once a spirit accepts that he/she is dead or accepts that their loved ones will be fine without them, they don’t need to spiritually hang around on earth, they tend to stay in heaven.  But when they want to show up, it takes a lot of energy.) 

     “Yeah, it’s my son,”  I confirmed, feeling like something was stuck in my throat. I was overjoyed and immensely moved that Kyle took the time to show me that even though he was in heaven, he still had time to say, ‘Hi!’ Then the woman explained what the colors meant. 

   Once Stephanie saw the photo of Kyle’s hand her face lite up and decided to have her aura picture taken also. I reminded her to call her sister in. After the heavy set photographer snapped the picture, she handed it to me with a smile on her face. (Maybe she thought Stephanie was my daughter.) I looked at the photo first and then smiled a smug satisfying smirk.  There it was, two fingers held up in a peace sign, right beside Stephanie’s right ear, the hand still and the colors vibrant.  Huge alligator tears rolled down Stephanie's cheeks, she wiped them off quickly, not wanting her classmates to see them.

   I gave her a hug and whispered, “I told you that your sister was still there for you.” The grin on her face was priceless. I could tell that was exactly what she needed, a verification that she was indeed talking to her sister.  A few of her classmates gathered around her to see what was in her photo, astonished at what they saw. 

   I still remember a few months earlier when Stephanie walked into my classroom during lunch and asked if I had time to talk.  I gestured to a student desk and I seated myself across from her. “Ms. B., I used to speak to my sister, but she doesn’t talk to me anymore. Is she mad at me?” Big alligator tears seeped from her huge brown eyes and rolled down her round cheeks.

     At first, I thought that she and her sister had a fight, but then I had this feeling in my gut. “She’s on the other side, isn’t she?”

https://www.google.com/search?q=ghosts&sxsrf

     She nodded, wiping away a few of her tears with the back of her hand.  I asked if someone had told her to stop talking to her dead sister, but she couldn’t remember. (This is very common.) I reminded Stephanie to meditate, so she could slow down her vibrations, and then start talking to her sister, welcoming her back into her life again and apologize for not talking to her for so long.  

      A week passed, and I asked her if she was able to get in touch with her sister.  Stephanie’s big brown eyes glistened, and a huge smile followed. “Yes, Ms. B.”  

   I can’t promise anyone that if you have had an aura picture taken that one of your loved ones is going to show up in the photo, but I'm sure if you keep trying, eat right, your channels will be open to receive, just be patient. You might have a pleasant surprise.

102 Teenagers Can Be Compassionate

       What is compassion? It is when an individual selflessly makes an effort to help someone deal with

physical, mental, or emotional suffering. 

     The last few years that I taught high school, I found that the majority of students had stopped

showing compassion for each other. Someone would fall, and you only heard laughter or a smartass

joke, no one ran to help. More students came to school drugged or drunk, yet no one wrote a note to me

or shared that they were worried about their friend.  And yet I do remember a powerful memory of a

whole-class that gave me the space I needed when I was experiencing a trauma moment a month after

our son, Kyle, died of an overdose.

      I stood in front of my theatre class, struggling to remember the guidelines for developing a character. Giving up, I picked up my theatre book; somehow, my unfocused eyes found the chapter. But the familiar blurry words had no meaning. My fingers clasped the edges of the textbook, then I froze.

     Noise. Somewhere in the classroom, murmurs. Then loud waves of voices crashed into one another in erratic rhythms. Where were the noises coming from? Who was talking? Instantaneously, I followed my familiar routine: I faded, disappearing into my head; my body seemed to lift, floating somewhere above me. I felt like I wasn't even in my classroom anymore.

     I fought to focus. My eyes darted from face to fuzzy face, not recognizing one single student. The students seemed to be sitting behind rippled glass blocks. Someone danced some familiar Flamingo steps on my heart.

     The boa constrictor knotted in my stomach, and I fought to control my irregular breathing. I took a couple of deep breaths when I remembered what my trauma counselor taught me for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She told me to be honest with my students when my episodes start. I had to honor the way I felt, notice where I felt the emotion, what it felt like, and then give myself permission to feel. Words stumbled out of my mouth, “Hey, you guys….” I sucked in a couple of rapid breaths, “It’s…it’s happening again. Please, take the noise down a level.”

     And just like magic, the static disappeared. “Sorry, Ms. B., we forgot,” Celeste replied. A few other students apologized. They knew my stories: The exodus of our daughter and then a year later the death of our 22-year-old mentally ill son, Kyle, from a heroin overdose.

     I sat down and gave myself permission to feel. I took two deep breaths and felt the snake unwind in my stomach. Another deep breath and the vice around my heart loosened, my breathing slowed down, and I looked at my papers on my desk until the words fully came into focus. Breathing a few more times deeply, I finally looked at my students, slowly recognizing each one. They sat like monks, patiently waiting, watching me, not saying one single word. “Thanks, you guys.” I stood up with the textbook in hand, ready to teach. "You guys are awesome."   

101 Sometimes A Loved One Will keep Bugging you until you Acknowledge their Message

      

      When word got around the high school that I spoke to my son, who had passed away from a heroin overdose, a few unfamiliar students came in during lunch or before school to talk to me about their experiences with loved ones who spoke to them from heaven. 
        Pedro, one of my students, walked into my classroom after school and introduced his friend.  He pushed Jose towards me. "Go ahead, don't be afraid to tell her."

     Jose struggled to control his tears. "My cousin was killed in a gang fight a few months ago. He was stabbed to death." 
     I gave him my condolences, and he thanked me.
     Pedro elbowed him. "Tell her the rest."
     He stuttered. "He keeps waking me up at night."

     I studied his anguished face. "Are you ignoring him when he tries to talk to you?"

     He dropped his head and nodded.

     "If he keeps bugging you, it must be important. What is he telling you?"
      Jose kept shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "To not join the gang. To stay clean."

      "That sounds like an important message." 
      He swallowed, fighting back his tears.
      "What do you think he's telling you that?"

      He stuttered, "Because I guess he knows I've been thinking about joining the gang that he was in.  But I'm not anymore because of what happened to him."

      "Have you told him that?"

      "No. I've been too afraid to talk to a ghost."

      I smiled. "Don't be frightened; he's your cousin. He's worried that you're going to turn up like him. He sees all the pain he has caused his family and regrets the decisions he had made. Tell him that you decided not to join the gang after losing him." (I was receiving this info from who knows where.)
       Jose nodded.
       "Listen to him. Maybe he has some interesting stories about being in a gang that will influence you even more about why you shouldn't join."

      "I bet he does," he said, then gave half a smile melted onto his lips as if a memory popped in.

      Jose thanked me, and Pedro followed suit.

      That little talk made me wish more people believed that when someone dies, you still don't totally lose them; a loved one is still there when needed. You still can have a relationship; it's just a long-distance one. When you need to talk,  take a couple of deep breaths to slow your body down and then call your loved one in. Remember, though, they still have a life up in heaven, so sometimes they're busy. My son's voice will pop into my head and say, "Mom, busy, talk to you later."   It's true, we talk a lot less than what we used to, and he still warns me about things, not that I always listen.  But after 11 years, he's still there to guide me and listen to my grumbles.

    But remember, even in heaven, those who passed have their own life, so if you find yourself talking to them almost every day after two years, you need to cut the ties because it's very unhealthy.

At that time, I didn't know how to cut the energy ties between spirits and the living. But now I do. 

 (Blogs to teach you how to let go of a loved one who is still hanging around.

Blog 14 - Powerful tool to use after someone has died 

 https://othersideofloss.blogspot.com/2018/01/14-this-is-powerful-tool-to-use-after.html 

Blog 43   Cutting ties with someone you love. Imperative to your health.

https://othersideofloss.blogspot.com/2018/04/43-cutting-ties-with-your-children.html 

100 Releasing Negative Thoughts about Our Self and Others is Imperative for our Health

                          https://www.google.com/search?q=releasing+negative+thoughts&sxsrf

     A few notes from a fabulous Spiritual speaker and healer, Michael Simenson.  Often times he gives  free lectures but who knows what he's doing during these COVID times. He is also a very strong healer. His specialty is working with Autistic, Tourette, A.D.D., and A.D.H.D. kids.  His site is: https://energeticallysensitivechild.com/

  After taking a healing workshop with Michael for 2 days.  I received permission from my school to invite him to talk to Canoga High students. I sent a note out to all the teachers and only a few replied. The students loved his belief that we are here on this planet to experience positive and negative things. He asked us, “If everything was easy, would our soul learn any life lessons?" A few were crying at the end of the lesson after he did a group healing.

He suggested that when you become upset to ask yourself:

a)  Why am I upset?

b)  What triggered my reaction?

c)  What am I supposed to learn from this?

d)  How am I going to learn this lesson?

   When something negative happens to you, or someone  or you make a negative judgment about yourself, instead of reacting, stop and say to yourself, “I take that anger or judgment and melt it into my love and light.” (In a teacher workshop quite a few years ago, the presenter taught us to say, “Cancel, cancel,” however I like Michael’s statement better.)

    If you are mad at someone or yourself, say, "Paul, or self, thank you for introducing me to this conflict or fear. I now release my anger ( fear or judgment) to my higher self.” This negative emotion, if held onto, will change your aura. This energy around you (your aura) will start to darken because your life flow has been interrupted by your negative thoughts. If these negative thoughts continue, you will become ill physically or mentally.
   Here's an exercise: Think of a recent incident where you were happy. Now hook your two pointing fingers and try to pull them apart. What happens?   Now think of an issue where you've judged yourself or another, or think of a time when you became very angry. See and feel that anger. Now hook your fingers again while you are replaying this incident. What happens? Usually, because your energy is depleted, or weakened, your fingers will unhook. You've given your power away because of this negative thought.

   Never embrace regret; it’s a negative thought also. You are not honoring your spirit that decided to experience that specific situation.  Honor that you experienced it but then take that negative feeling that you have to your love and light. Release the need to understand everything.  NEVER ignore your feelings or place them on a shelf...  transmute the negative ones to your love and light.

   When we were in our mother’s womb, we started learning to think negatively or experience fear or joy because we felt our mother's feelings and heard her tone of voice or other people’s voices talking or even yelling. The unborn child won't understand, but he/she picks up that fear or love or joy or hate or anger even though he or she can't put words to it. The child feels emotions and tones and volume. As an adult say, “As a child, I heard and felt an energy that I didn’t understand. I release this fear, anxiety and any other negative emotions that I had felt to my love and light.”

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   A true loving being will not judge others or oneself.  YOUR THOUGHTS AND WHAT YOU SAY ARE PART OF YOU…….stay in the white light.

1. If you have negative thoughts, say, "Cool. I've been given the gift to experience these negative thoughts, experiences, or illness, but now I melt them into my love and light.”

2. If someone is yelling or making negative comments - you hold the light- stay positive.  They are  the slaves to their fears and their emotions.


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A healthy aura. You don't want grey around you and that's what happens when we think negatively.

Exercises to create new hardware in your brain: A few of my students cried when we repeated these lines after Michael had said them.

1. Hands out, palms facing self.  "I am white light,  I love myself, I am awesome, I am amazing, I'm a walking talking love machine, I'm creative, I'm loved by my family, I love myself, I'm smart, I'm creative, I'm a walking talking love machine."(PLACE HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD -repeat this affirmation a couple times)

2. “I'm never alone, I'm source manifest, I release the concept that I don't know, I have all knowledge within me, I'm all knowing...I'm love...I'm light.” (Repeat a couple times.)

3. "I'm responsible for my life. I create my reality with my own power." (Repeat a few times.)

    I volunteered during my conference period and worked with Special Ed. Classes that had kids with extreme special needs: A.D.D., A.D.H.D., Tourette, Autism.  I taught them meditation first so they could go to that quiet place when they needed to and then later I taught them all the exercises above in two sessions.   The teachers could not believe how much the kids changed. They were able to focus more,  retain material and their grades raised. And the students were much happier.

WE NEED TO STOP TRYING TO FIX EACH OTHER, JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF. Of course, that doesn’t mean you aren’t there to help and guide others, but the individual has to do their own work.

99 A Funny Experience About Me Accepting my Second Animal Guide

      I had learned to journey to find my first animal guide, a wolf, and assumed that one animal guide would be it. But I guess another guide decided I needed to work with him also.  This time, I was introduced to my new animal guide in some very unusual ways.

       As usual, my West Highland Terrier started barking to let me know it was time to accompany him on a walk. I swear he has a clock somewhere hidden inside of that white body of his because if I'm even five minutes late, he barks to reprimand me.  I clipped his leash on, and we were on our way.   It was a beautiful day, not too hot, not too cold.  Cawing sounds came from above, so I looked up to see one blackbird fly above me to perch on a tree nearby.   I was familiar with their routine, but suddenly, the other one flew right across the road about 15 feet in front of me.  Now that was strange, that had never happened.  And then, within seconds, the other flew low, close to the road, to the other side.  I looked on the street, thinking there might be some squished lizard or a squirrel, so these birds were upset that I had walked too close to their dinner. But there wasn't anything there.  

       The following day three giant blackbirds kept flying back and forth in front of me, surprisingly close, cawing like crazy as if they were mad at me.  I was a little worried that I was going to be dive-bombed. Topper looked up and started barking furiously, possibly thinking he was protecting me until I quieted him down.  Maybe the birds were having fun harassing my dog. When I got home, I researched what type of birds I had seen within the last few days because I honestly wasn't sure if they were Ravens or Blackbirds. They resembled a Raven to a tee.

       Then the following morning, I was driving down Topanga Cyn. to school when a Raven flew low, right in front of my car, I had to step on my brake, or I would have hit it.  This time I wondered if the 'Raven' was trying to introduce himself to me as my animal guide.  But I already had one; can I have two?  Naw, one guide is enough, I thought.
      That same week I walked into our Topanga Homegrown Store, and right on the display table sat a fountain about two feet high. And what do you think was perched on the edge of it? Yup, a Raven. I thought, no way. This has to be a Black Bird.  Still, I couldn't accept that a gross Raven wanted to be my Animal Guide. And again, I wondered why I was being harassed by Ravens lately.  I tried to pick the fountain up, but I couldn't because it was too heavy, so a curly-headed saleswoman asked if she could help me. I told her I needed to find out what type of bird it was. She said, "I think it's a Raven, but let's make sure." with great difficulty, she picked the fountain up, and I looked under the base. Sure enough, the little label read, ''aven.'' I thanked her. 

      I rushed outside, freaking out. I had journeyed to find my first Animal Guide a few years earlier. It was a wolf, but was another animal introducing itself to me? Not. I told Alan about the Ravens, and he guaranteed me that Ravens do not live in this hemisphere. However, I disagreed with him. I got online again, this time comparing the characteristics of a Raven and a Blackbird, just in case the birds I had seen were Blackbirds. They were Ravens because they were huge, and they had this funky bump on the top of their bill.  I, of course, let Alan know of my findings and teased him about actually being wrong about something. 

     I was a bit upset. There's the way that a Raven is my animal guide. It eats roadkill. Gross! Why can't a second animal guide be a lion or a bear? You know... strong, giant animals? I still refused to accept my 2nd animal guide. 

     Then a week later, I was returning home from work, driving up Topanga Blvd. when I whipped around one of the many big curves. ""hit!""I yelled. Instantly, I rammed on the brakes, and my car skidded to a stop. A Raven had flown down from the nearby hill and landed in the road one hundred feet in front of my car.  It was huge. It bent its head down a little bit and stared at me as if looking right into my soul. And within seconds, it flew off, and I continued to drive home.  It seemed as if the Raven was on the lookout for my Mini Cooper. Are animals that intelligent?

     My heartbeat refused to slow down, ""all right, all right, I get it. A Raven is one of my animal guides. Thank you. I accept the gift.""I felt I had to say something because I kept being visually bombarded with Ravens everywhere I went the last few weeks. I thought maybe if I accepted them as my guide, they would leave me alone. I steadied my breath as I continued to drive home.

     I told Alan what had happened, and he said, "there aren't any Ravens in this hemisphere.""(I'm sure he rolled his eyes, but I couldn't see them since he was doing some drafting.)

     "Alan, I told you, I did some research.  It was a Raven, and they do live in this hemisphere,""I responded, a bit annoyed because he still insisted that it was a Blackbird.

    Blackbird (left)...Raven (right)                         
      

    Yes, there are many types of blackbirds and ravens, but they still look very different.

     Later, in a shamanic journey, I asked its name. His name is Bitza. I looked up how a Raven is supposed to help me and wasn't surprised why he was one of my Guides.

     I now work with my wolf and the Raven all the time when helping others heal.
     Be open to any animal that might introduce itself within a three or four-week period. It could be a  spider, a worm,  or an elephant.  If you don't accept it, it will give up.  Be observant because you might see the animal in a book, a poster, a dream, a cloud, etc.;  
   Then once you find one, get online and see how to journey, start reading about your spirit animal, welcome them into your life.  Ask their name. Tell your spirit animal that you are open to working with them. You will be surprised at how much they can help you.

Check out Blog 98 - How I journeyed to find my first animal guide
https://othersideofloss.blogspot.com/2019/03/98-finding-your-spirit-or-animal-guide.html    

   
How to meet your spirit guide and work with him/her:

 https://www.spiritanimal.info/how-to-find-spirit-animal/

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=How+can+I+work+with+my+animal+guide&channel=cus2#kpvalbx=_EVIwXsyKDpLZ9AP7yYaoAQ28