32 - Do You Keep Reacting to Something A Friend or Partner has Said to You or Done to You? Do you Continue to Hang onto a Loved One?

Do you react to what someone has said or feel like your energy was sucked out of you by a vampire?

    When we interact with someone, we exchange energy, and surprisingly even after we physically separate from that individual, energetic and emotional ties, or attachment cords,  still remain. This energy between two people causes patterns from the past to constantly be re-lived. We can be connected to someone who loves us far away, a person from our past, a family member, a friend,  or someone who is no longer living. Signs of attachment: you might notice that you’ve picked up on your partner’s happiness, anger or you feel drained as if a vampire sucked up your energy. Also, if you are still talking constantly to a person who has died, that is very unhealthy for both of you. Yes, it's okay to do it every once in a while, but not every day.
   Cutting ties is helpful to clear past experiences, beliefs, resentments, and judgments, etc. This allows us to remove old patterns and prevent reliving dramas with those that we love, and stop us from emotionally getting pulled into their crap in which we have no control of. (Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?)

   It’s important to recognize the difference between healthy ties and destructive ones. In these relationships, it’s only normal that at times we might feel judged, hurt, resentment, fear, anger, or misunderstanding.  Also, when you worry about an individual or unconsciously try to protect someone you love, cords unknowingly form through the need to control the situation. If we don’t take care of these negative patterns in our relationships, they repeat themselves and sometimes become worse. 

  Cutting ties does not sever the relationship (unless that’s your purpose); instead, it returns the relationship to a healthy path. By cutting ties with these negative energies, we allow space for new, more harmonious energies to enter our relationships. The effects may be felt physically, energetically, or emotionally. When you cut energetic ties, you will feel a sense of being free or of having a heavy burden removed.

   After my daughter left to live her own life, I realized that guilt and worrying about her had kept me stuck and depressed.  After I cut the ties, I felt a sense of freedom. Of course, there was a flood of tears for a few days, but  I hoped that it would permit her to feel free and for both of us to step into our own individual power. After a few days, my heartfelt lighter and my worry for her had disappeared.  It was such a beautiful feeling to have. I thought I had emotionally let her go so she could live her own life.

Who/what to cut ties with:
 

1.  When you end a relationship. 
2.  When someone you love passes away, and you won't let the loved one go. This is extremely unhealthy for you.

3.  When you want to change old patterns or ways of interacting with someone.

4.   If you are ready to make a change in your life but are having difficulty doing so. First, identify the old thoughts, beliefs, or judgments that are holding you back, then cut those old traits (cords) from you.
5.  When you are holding on to past negative experiences.

It's easier than you think.

Steps for cutting ties:

1.  Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few nice deep breaths to help you relax.

2.  Identify what type of connection you have with this individual. Is the relationship based on fear, 
need for security, acceptance, or love? 

3.  Visualize the person with whom you wish to cut an energetic tie. (Or see the incident that traumatized you.)See and feel the cord(s) that exist between the two of you/or the incident. Take your time.  Some people see the cord(s) as ropes, chains, or beautiful bright light. These cords could be thin or thick, depending on your attachment. Even if you are just cutting ‘fear’ or 'jealousy' from the relationship/or incident, still acknowledge why you would react and how it had changed you or the other person. 

4.  If you are cutting a person from your life, acknowledge all the good things you’ve learned from that individual and how their behavior made you a stronger person. Be aware that the person who has been cut may feel a sense of loss and try to reach out to you. If you wish to not reconnect with this person, allow adequate time to adjust before you see him/her again. Because of guilt, or maybe you feel that your ex still needs you, you will be tied to him/her in an unhealthy manner which does not allow either of you to move forward.

5.  Visualize cutting or severing these cords with a massive sword or a pair of scissors, or a machete. Anything is perfect.  Some cords may be more solid than others and will take more energy and stronger tools to cut. It might take a few days of cutting this cord. I  promise it will get smaller.

6. Listen to your gut. It might tell you that you are finished, or it might ask you to send love to the severed cord or to place a peace sign over it, or quartz. You may feel that you need to take additional steps to feel this exercise is complete. Use whatever visualization or techniques to give you a sense that the cutting is complete. You may find it helpful to visualize a brick wall or a mountain between the two of you if you actually separate from this person. Again trust your instincts.

7.   If you become emotional about cutting a tie and are afraid to do it, ask yourself why. Maybe your wife constantly pulls you into her emotional dramas, and then you have to be the one who soothes her. But now you have gotten to a place where you've had it; you're just tired of the drama and exhausted from all the energy you've spent on trying to mellow her out.  - Ask yourself why you are so emotional/afraid to cut this specific tie. That inner voice might tell you because you need to feel needed. Then ask yourself, when did I not feel needed and loved? Yes, usually it goes back to a parent who wasn't mentally or physically there for you no matter how hard you tried to be the perfect child.  Remind yourself that that situation doesn't exist anymore. You are an adult now. You need to cut that feeling of not being loved or wanted by you parent first.  Wait a few days and then cut that need to soothe and fix your spouse.

8.  Yes, you can cut traits you don't like from yourself, but you can't try to fix someone else. When I tried to cut a judgment cord to Alan, my husband, I closed my eyes and saw a huge cord between  Alan and me. It was black with a gold chain wrapped around it. ( I thought that was weird, but okay…) I held a humongous pair of gold scissors with beautiful engraving on the sides. I could see myself chopping the cord, but no matter how hard I tried, it only went through ¼ of it. I tried again, but nothing more happened. I waited the following day and repeated my wish to not react to his comments, and then I added, “I know this is an old karmic issue between us, but I’m now ready to let it go.” (That just popped into my head to say, so I trusted myself.) Again, I struggled to chop the rope, and finally, it chopped into. I told myself that this separation from judgment is good for both of us and that I still love him very much, but I’m tired of reacting to his garbage and then judging him. I felt more at peace and in control of my life once I cut this tie. Wow!  What a joy it has been not to react to your partner's crap! And yes, I've still had o do it a few more times.

 Do not allow yourself to fall back into old habits, or you will reconnect with that individual, and you will need to cut the cords again. 

steps for cutting ties:

THIS BELOW CLEANED UP A BIT - REWORKED CHECK IT

1.  Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few nice deep breaths to help you relax.

2.  Identify what type of connection you have with the individual you want to cut ties with. Is the relationship based on fear,  the need to care for someone, security, acceptance, or love? 

3.  Visualize the person with whom you wish to cut an energetic tie. See and feel the cord(s) that exist between the two of you. (I see the cord kind of like an umbilical cord coming from my belly button to the individual that I'm trying to cut ties with). Take your time.  Some people see the cord(s) as ropes, chains, or beautiful bright light. These cords could be thin or thick, depending on your attachment. Even if you are just cutting ‘fear’ or 'jealousy' from the relationship/or incident, still acknowledge why you reacted and how it changed you or the other person. 

4. Remind the individual that you still love them, but you worry about them too much, and this is not healthy for either of you. Visualize cutting or severing these cords with a massive sword, a pair of scissors, or a machete. Anything is perfect. Some cords may be more solid than others and will take more energy and stronger tools to cut. Cutting this cord might take a few days, but I  promise it will get smaller.

5. Listen to your gut. It might tell you that you are finished or ask you to send love to the severed cord or place a peace sign over it or a quartz. You may feel that you need to take additional steps to feel this exercise is complete. Use whatever visualization or techniques to give you a sense that the cutting is complete. 

6.   If you become emotional about cutting a tie and are afraid to do it, ask yourself why. Maybe your wife constantly pulls you into her emotional dramas, and then you have to be the one who soothes her. But now you have gotten to a place where you've had it; you're just tired of the drama and exhausted from all the energy you've spent on trying to mellow her out.  - Ask yourself why you are so emotional/afraid to cut this specific tie. That inner voice might tell you that you need to feel needed. Then ask yourself, when did I not feel needed and loved? Yes, usually, it goes back to a parent who wasn't mentally or physically there for you, no matter how hard you tried to be the perfect child.  Remind yourself that that situation doesn't exist anymore. You are an adult now. You need to cut that feeling of not being loved or wanted by your parents first.  Wait a few days and then cut that need to soothe and fix your spouse.

7.  Yes, you can cut traits you don't like about yourself, but you can't try to fix someone else. When I tried to cut a judgment cord to Alan, my husband, I closed my eyes and saw a huge cord between  Alan and me. It was black with a gold chain wrapped around it. ( I thought that was weird, but okay…) I held a humongous pair of gold scissors with beautiful engraving on the sides. I could see myself chopping the cord, but no matter how hard I tried, it only went through ¼ of it. I tried again, but nothing more happened. I waited the following day and repeated my wish not to react to his comments, and then I added, “I know this is an old karmic issue between us, but I’m now ready to let it go.” (That just popped into my head to say, so I trusted myself.) Again, I struggled to chop the rope, and finally, it was chopped into. I told myself that this separation from judgment is good for both of us and that I still love him very much, but I’m tired of reacting to his garbage and then judging him. I felt more at peace and in control of my life once I cut this tie. Wow!  What a joy it has been not to react to your partner's crap! And yes, I've still had to do it a few more times.

 Do not allow yourself to fall back into old habits. like worrying for someone; otherwise, you will reconnect with that individual and need to cut the cords again.  Remember, you cannot worry about your grandchild, husband, or sister, as their life path is their path.

Okay, I finally kept my promise.  Sorry it took so long.

Good LUCK!  Any questions, just ask me and I’ll help.   tbboivin8@gmail.com