How many of you have heard of an empath? I don’t think I had until my children were out of the house. I had taken quite a few healing classes but didn’t learn about it until I took an advanced Reiki class. It was one of those wow moments because it explained so many things. I was a kid who could feel people’s physical pain and their mental anguish so many times Iwould feel overwhelmed. I still to this day remember touching a stranger’s back while we were finding our seats on a plane and she turned around and gave me an annoyed look. My mom got after me. I was too young to explain that the individual’s back was in pain, but I remember that was what I was feeling. When I was at school, I would get upset or anxious and not understand why. Now I wonder if it was becasue I was puling in other kid's energy.
Only within the last eight years did I realized that my own children were empaths. When Nicole was a toddler, she reacted to the noises in the parking lot by scrambling up my body and screaming bloody murder. The sound of an ambulance siren brought frozen fear to her face. One evening before going to bed, Nicole cried, and I found it difficult to soothe her. My little three-year-old couldn’t go to sleep again, this time because she was upset that the dolphins were dying in the ocean because of all the garbage in it. I could feel the sorrow that she felt in her sad voice. She felt for those sick and dead dolphins. (She had learned that piece of info at the Montessori. Yes, I spoke to the teacher about the kids being too young to have to worry about things like that quite yet.) We constantly had to be aware of what Kyle was watching which a parent should do anyway, but Nicole was so sensitive that she would pick up the energy from the actors and then get upset.
In junior high, she developed Fibromyalgia. Pain bounced around to different areas, and she had a difficult time falling asleep. She was out of school a lot, but a few timnes we'd forced her to go and she walked around like a zombie. We felt bad but we didn't know what to do. Empaths tend to become ill or tired more often than most people. This is because their body sucks in other’s physical or mental issues, but many times they don’t realize it. When this energy builds up, it can manifest into anxiety, depression, lethargy or an illness. I’m sure Nicole’s body was unconsciously trying to heal her messed up family.
Kyle was an empath also. We couldn’t go shopping for any longer than an hour when he was little because Kyle would start screaming as he pulled in everyone’s energy. We knew what was happening because I did it too. I was always exhausted in crowds. Alan finally got an idea one day while we were visiting Disneyland. I had morphed into a bitch. (That’s what happens to me when I’m around a crowd or in shopping malls- I feel like someone stuck my finger into an electrical socket. I can’t think. I’m on overload.) Or maybe Kyle was freaking out that day. I can’t remember. Alan took us to a quiet corner so we could regroup for fifteen minutes. I meditated. That’s all we needed, and then we were ready for some more fun.
I realize now that I’m an empath. I often times felt sorry for my children, so this stopped me from disciplining or made me inconsistent. I didn't know how to protect myself. You can empathize with your child about them how they feel, but you still need to be able to emotionally separate yourself from the situation by seesing some type of barrier between you and your child or by cutting the cord from your belly button to theirs. (Blog #43)
I know that being an empath is a pain in the butt sometimes, but it’s a precious gift. You or your child have to know how to protect yourself and how to clear the energy when you feel it building up and clear it off before going to bed. (I’m over 60, so this still has not become a habit.) It is a gift where you can help many, but you can set boundaries when you don’t want to heal. In other words, tell your body that you don't want to heal that person or you don't want to heal that day. I often wonder how many alcoholics or drug users are empaths. They feel so much, so they drown their pain.
Now that I have taken more healing classes, my body is even more open to healing anyone and everyone. The problem, sometimes it’s not a good time. Once I was walking across the street in downtown Chicago, and Alan was walking about a yard in front of me. Whack! I stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, stunned with darkness and nausea. I couldn’t move. I felt Alan’s hand on my arm pulling me to the nearby sidewalk and close to a building out of everyone’s way. “Tina, did you remember to protect yourself this morning?” His face and voice were filled with worry.
At first, I couldn’t answer. I felt so sick, and my head spun. Finally, I told him, “No.” Immediately, I scooped away the negative energy and threw it away, not carrying if a pedestrian saw me. Then as I placed protection around me, I perused the crowd wondering who I had just healed. I had no ideas. We continued our site seeing while I tried to explain what had just happened.
SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES:
1. Start from the toes and go up to hips and scoop energy up to sky-throw it away. Then coonitune from hip to head and throw it away. I blow out and make a whistling sound as I scoop and then when I throw the energy up to the sky, I make a swooshing sound.
2. Visualize a protective wall around you or if you like, think of it as a shield
If you are a sensitive individual or an empath, or have a child who is, create a wall around yourself or teach your child to. This will block out the toxic energy. Begin by taking a few deep, long breaths. Visualize a beautiful white sparkly light surrounding you, or I told my students to see anything they feel safe with protecting them. It could be snakes, walls…for little children may be their favorite teddy bear multiples all around them. Call on that wall regularly during the day.
The second you feel uncomfortable with a person, place, or situation, take a few nice deep breaths and visualize that wall. Especially teach yourself and your children to use it anytime they’re going to be around a lot of people or if they know that they will be with someone who tends to suck their energy from them. You should feel grounded (focused and happy) and energized, yet still able to feel the beautiful world around you.
2. Techniques to prevent an overload
If you start feeling negative energy or unfocused, scoop away with your hands the slop that is around you or see yourself scooping it away. I mentally tell the garbage to go away, that I don’t want it. It’s important to recognize that the negative feelings or physical energy you or your child is taking on is not yours. Notice where you are if your child is starting to act up. Ask what he or she is feeling. Are you at a restaurant? Maybe she is pulling in someone’s energy. You must teach her to slow down and notice that this energy is not hers. You are giving your children a tremendous gift if you can teach them this now. Then remember, have her remove the harmful energy and place another protective wall around herself.
Ways to reground yourself and release negative energy: Inhale lavender essential oil or place a few drops between your eyebrows (on your third eye) to calm yourself. When you are able to spend time in nature, take a walk or a hike. I can’t believe how many psyches have told me I must go outside and hug a tree. It regrounds me immediately. Balance your alone time with people time. For me, time management is key to my sanity. In my personal life, I don’t plan too many things in one day, or I get overloaded. Do not feel obliged to go out with others if you are mentally or physically exhausted. (I’m guilty about doing this.)
3. Express Your Needs
Do you need me time, or to walk alone, or to alone? Do you need to play music or dance with your partner? If you feel crooked or you notice your child feels out of sorts, ask her how she feels and what she needs. This will make everyone aware of their body and their feelings. If you or your child’s needs are not met, anxiety or exhaustion usually occurs. This simple life lesson is important.
4. Set Energetic Boundaries at Work & at Home
Many times the workplace or classroom can be noisy and over-stimulating. To protect yourself, surround the outer edge of your space with plants or family or pet photos. This will create a small psychological barrier. Even small statues of Buddha, Quan Yin, crystals, stones, feathers, etc. will protect you from negative energy. The last few years I taught school, I unconsciously placed a Buddha fountain on my desk, rocks and feathers behind me on my bookcase. I just did it becasue I was drawn to these items. I never thought about the items protecting me.
Don’t be afraid to say, “No.” if you don’t want to do something. And don’t feel guilty for saying it. (I was notorious for feeling I always had to say yes.) Set clear limits with energy vampires and toxic people.
I decide when I want to see anyone, especially if I know they tend to drain me. No guilt anymore.
Sites for further reading about empaths:
Sites to check to see if you or your child is an empath: There are tons of sites.
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