One day after sharing with my therapist that sometimes I feel like renting an apartment, away from Alan. She asked me how my husband’s energy was when he arrived home after being gone all day working. I shared that now that I’m retired and staying home in this quiet environment called home without the stress of teaching or dealing with traffic, I sense Alan’s energy even more. At times I feel this static-like energy I hear coming from one of those metal high-intensity electrical utility poles. Honestly, sometimes I want to sneak out the back door and disappear for a while. He's always been a high-energy person.
She shared that when family members are out of the house working, going to school, and at friend's homes, etc., they might have adverse situations occur which cause stress, anger, or frustration. My therapist taught me an amazing technique to reconnect. She told me that once Alan walked through the door, to immediately ask him to lay his briefcase and rolls of building plans down and hug. (If you have children, do not let them interfere. This time is between the parents right now.) We raise our left arm and place it over the person’s shoulder or on the side of their upper arm if they’re taller than us. The right arms slide nicely under that lifted left arm. NO TALKING!!! (If you raise your right arms over each other's shoulders, you are liver to liver, this doesn't do much, you need heart to heart.)
And for those of you who have children, I’m sure you’ve found that they sometimes have great difficulty focusing or are up and down emotionally, especially after being out of the house. Many of our children are Indigo Children. Therefore, they pick up other people’s energy easily, or they unconsciously heal others. (Blog #3.) You can do this technique with each child once they arrive home. Ask each child whose turn it is first. Tell them to feel it in their body. The body will let them know if they should go first. (This is a technique I learned from a miraculous healer, Hazel Carter.) This way, no one is arguing or overriding each other. Also, you're not expected to remember who went first the last time, forget, and then the comment, "You're playing favorites!' Your kids are slowing themselves down to feel what their body needs . It also teaches them to honor that a brother or sister needs to go first this time. This method might take a little while at first, but the lids will get used to it.
I wish this technique would have existed when I was a child. It sure would have helped all 8 of us to reconnect instead of feeling like a soccer ball that's kicked back and forth. My father had a high-intensity job, so he’d come home and yell all too often. It wasn’t fun a lot of times living in that house. Heart to Heart cues the body to slow down, and it reminds everyone in the family that you love each other.
The additional plus is that a hug has an almost immediate impact on health, lowering your heart rate and inducing a calming effect that improves mood. Hugging is as beneficial for the person giving a hug as for the person receiving the hug. Oxytocin is released in response to physical touch. The neuropeptide oxytocin, released by your pituitary gland, is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful, health-giving properties.
Videos showing and talking about the correct way to do “Heart to Heart Hugs”:
(This video goes into detail, with drawings to explain the different ways to hug and how it helps.)
( I like this video because it’s a father and son (I think) that explain the Heart to Heart Hug and demonstrate it. If you have boys, this might help show them, so they don’t think it’s a girly thing.)
Would love to hear how you felt or if it helped you or your family to reconnect. tbboivin8@gmail.com
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